Still alive and kicking

It occurs to me that you all may be wondering if I'm ever coming back.

I assure you, I am. If you've been checking in and looking at the sidebar at all, I assume you've seen that I've been Tweeting over the past couple of weeks, but time to blog has been nil.

You will be happy to know, though, that I did manage to take lots of pictures while we were in South Carolina celebrating Christmas with Grayson's side of the family, and I look forward to sharing them with all of you. I mean, who DOESN'T want to read about Christmas in February?

Rather fitting if I don't get around to blogging about it for several more weeks, seeing as how I STILL HAVEN'T MAILED MY CHRISTMAS CARDS. See, once I realized that I wasn't going to get them out by Christmas Eve, I lost all sense of urgency and decided to completely let them go until we got back from our trip. I wasn't going to spend time I could have spent visiting with our family addressing cards.

I've grown up! Five years ago, I would have done exactly that. Would have sat there with a lap desk and stacks and stacks of envelopes around me, trying to participate in the conversation while addressing a card to

The Williams Family

2338 Jonah Cypress Circle

Birmingham, Turkey Alabama 36122

Yeah, it never goes well when I'm trying to have a conversation and address envelopes at the same time.

And try as I might, I was never able to access the wireless network at Debbie and Gerry's house, so I finally gave up on that. So the laptop made the trip across three states for naught.

I will be back to regular posting this week, though, I promise. Happy New Year!

An innocent mistake

My friend Melanie, who some of you know, told me the most hilarious story today, and I had to ask her permission to share it on the blog. Quite frankly, it's too good not to share with the world. Or at least, my little slice of the world.

In Melanie's words (and in her words, she's the "sweet and kind girl"):

A Christmas memory

Once upon a time, a sweet and kind girl decided to buy a present for her ex-boyfriend's new significant other. They were all "friends," so no bad feelings -- just an innocent gift exchange.

The girl found some lovely bath salts and wrapped them in a fun package -- such a nice gesture. A few days later, she got a call that there was a problem with said bath salts. They didn't really dissolve in the bath!

As it turned out, the bath display was very close to the home decor area -- so the girl had accidentally given her a box of colorful rocks. Nothing says Christmas like your ex's new flame sitting in a tub of rocks like a goldfish in an aquarium. 

Internet. I cannot stop thinking about a girl sitting in a warm tub of pastel rocks, poking and scraping them, maybe picking them up and sniffing them, wondering why they won't dissolve.

From our family to yours

The front (first) and rear (second) sides of our Christmas card. Photos by our friend Allen Oakman, cards by our friend Heather Stallworth.

To be clear, that face is not how Amelia feels about baby Jesus. It's how she felt when her daddy and brothers ran off down the path without her.

It's Brown time again!

If you're relatively new here, you haven't been treated to the glory that is my Brown! post.

You may have picked up from various random mentions just how much I love UPS, but it's possible that you wouldn't have thought I was a big enough fan to hide behind some bushes on the side of the road and take video of their trucks leaving for a day of deliveries.

If you didn't think me capable of that, you'd be wrong.

Click here to see the proof.

Christmas is less than a week away! Vroom vroom!

Ten!

Nathaniel,

Ten years ago at this very moment, at 8:45 p.m., I held you in my arms for the first time in a cold, stark delivery room. I remember it with a clarity that I find hard to comprehend … I can still conjure up the scent, the sounds, the sense of excitement and industriousness in the room around us. But we, you and I, and Daddy, we were in a world of our own for a few minutes. The unfamiliar sounds faded away, and we just looked into your navy blue eyes and marveled at your tiny, swaddled body.

The nurses had dimmed the lights in most of the room after they cleaned up the area, leaving random areas lit up as if with spotlights. I remember looking around in sort of a haze and seeing punches of light over the sink where soon you’d be getting your first bath, over the fiberglass bassinet where you’d be getting a diaper change, and on your little head, where I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.

You were silent, not a whimper, just looking around and gently moving your lips. You already looked at me trustingly, as if the moment you laid eyes on me, you knew I was the one. The one who sang at the top of her lungs every morning in the car on the way to work, the one who tapped out crazy beats on her tummy during meetings to see if you would kick back, the one who called you by name 20 times a day so she could get used to saying it, the one who the one who would lay her life down for you.

So here we are, ten years later. You’re taller; I’m the same height. But everything else about our relationship is so much the same as it was that very first day … I’m still captivated by you, I still love to sit and watch you do absolutely nothing, still love to sing with you in the car, still love to say your name out loud. Would still lay my life down for you.

I feel like every day is a grain of sand, and that now far more grains of sand have fallen to the bottom of the hourglass than remain on the top. In less than eight years, you’ll be moving on to adventures I’ll only learn about second-hand … experiencing lots of “firsts” with people other than I. My eyes fill with tears just thinking about it; up until now, almost all of your “firsts” have been with all of us right there, cheering you on.

But no matter where I am, and no matter how far apart we are, I will ALWAYS be cheering you on. Never forget it, never question it. You seemed to know it from the moment you were born, and I’m counting on you to remember it forever.

Ten years. The ten best years of my life.

I love you,
Mommy

My favorite Christmas story

Every year I share with you guys my favorite Christmas story, which happens to be a true story about something that happened to my Dad years ago.

I love everything about it. Angel Tree. Sharing what the Angel Tree is about with someone from another culture who'd never heard of it before. And of course, everything that comes after that.

So please hop over to the original post and give it a quick read. You won't regret it.

Only one week until Christmas!

Red velvet cheese ball, and why I had pantyhose stuffed with balloons on my head

I saw a recipe for a Red Velvet Cheese Ball (sweet, not savory) last Friday, and I immediately emailed my friend Melanie to ask if she wanted me to make it for her Christmas party the next night. She's a red velvet fan (I'm not), and it just SCREAMED "Melanie" at me. She was all for it.

So I made it, and everyone said it was really good. I ate some of it, but I didn't think it was as good as the chocolate chip dip that I make. That's probably because the chocolate chip dip is sweeter. Bygones.

Anyway, even the men liked it, so if you want to make it, here's the recipe:

RED VELVET CHEESE BALL

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups red velvet cake mix, dry
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips
assorted cookies and crackers

In a bowl, beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth. (I used a hand mixer.) Add in the red velvet cake mix, the brown sugar and the powdered sugar. Beat until smooth and combined. Spoon the mixture out onto a piece of plastic wrap. Wrap up into a ball and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.

Put the chocolate chips on a plate or in a shallow dish. (I used a cutting board with a recessed edge to catch the rolling chocolate chips. Worked well.) Remove the cheese ball from the refrigerator and unwrap. Roll in the chocolate chips. Place on a serving plate and serve with cookies or graham crackers.

************

Melanie and Shelly's "Holiday Hoedown" was a lot of fun. Early in the evening, we played a game where we split into six teams of three people, and we had to blow up six balloons and stuff them in a pair of pantyhose, then put them on each team leader's head. Grayson and I were each elected team leaders, and here we are with our "antlers" on:

And here are all six team leaders looking very "hoedown" (except Grayson, who doesn't do themes):

I mean, yes. We live in Alabama, but we don't wear overalls and plaid flannel shirts all the time. Nor do we wear pantyhose on our heads.

At some point in the evening, my friend Randy put his cowboy hat on my head. Since it's the first time I've ever worn one, I commemorated the event with a picture. It was perched up there on a wing and a prayer, if you must know, because my head circumference is roughly twice that of a normal person's.

So to recap: The party and the red velvet were huge successes, all Alabamians don't wear denim every day, and I have a giant noggin. Yee haw, y'all.

Christmas cards and the like

How many Christmas cards do you send out? Or holiday cards or whatever?

I mentioned to you the other day that my cards arrived, but now I have to stamp, return address and address them all, which usually takes me over a week. A week of Prime Blogging Time, I might add, because that all has to happen after the kids go to bed.

No biggie if I only needed to do 75, but I send a few more than that.

(That is my way of telling you that you're going to be seeing less of me for the next week.)

So. How many do you send? I'm sure most people would consider the number I send excessive. But I've tried to pare the list down over the years, and I've been unsuccessful for a few reasons. I'm up to about 350 now.

I know. Make fun all you want. I send a letter with it, too. It's sort of like a condensed version of the blog, basically the blog boiled down to two pages.

Now you're like, "THOSE lucky people get two pages once a YEAR, but WE have to suffer through this stuff DAILY?" Yeah, not fair. They have it easy.

Come clean in the Comments. Number of cards. Go.

Neighbor/teacher/babysitter holiday gift ideas

Most of the time when I look at Pinterest, I get overwhelmed by how much that's out there that I CAN'T do. But sometimes, SOMETIMES, I find great ideas that are simple enough for me to implement and cost very little. And if it's simple and inexpensive enough for ME, Internet, then I can guarantee that it's simple and inexpensive enough for anyone.

I went looking for some ideas I could use for nearby neighbors, teachers, and a couple of babysitters we've used (and it's NEVER a bad idea to have a generic gift in your hall closet for that person who drops by bearing a gift for whom you really have nothing in return). And Pinterest did not disappoint.

For a couple of our sweetest neighbors, I picked up some Christmas paper plates and napkins on sale at Target. Pinterest told me to get paper cups, too, but honestly. Who drinks out of those six-ounce paper cups? Toddlers, that's who. I wasn't wasting my money on those.

 

If you've got the cash, you could also throw in a set of 20 plastic forks, spoons and knives, but I was trying to keep this to $5 or $6 per family, so I just went with the paper plates and napkins, and I printed out a little note with the suggested verse from How Does She: “Don’t let your dishes pile up this busy holiday season. Let our family ‘do the dishes’ this week! Merry Christmas!” 

The plates were $2.50, the napkins were $2.50 and the cello bag was $1. I already had the ribbon, leftover from a package from last year.

Not bad for $6, right? And I bet you could find paper plates and napkins -- and even plastic utensils -- in Christmas colors at the Dollar Tree any time of the year and pull this together for less than $6.

Next up is a set of measuring spoons and cups -- which I bought at Target, but you could easily spend MUCH more on at a place like Anthropologie.

Target measuring cups and spoons look like these:

Anthro measuring cups and spoons look like these:

At any rate, no matter which ones you go with, if you add a note that says, "Wishing you joy beyond 'measure' this holiday season," the recipient is bound to think you're adorable. 

I already had the gift bag and tissue paper, and the measuring cups and spoons set me back about $5 apiece, so this was about a $10 gift for me.

I've gone back to Pinterest three times to search for the idea for that little "beyond measure" note, but I can't find the original Pin. If anyone runs across it, please let me know, because I'd like to give the author credit!

The last idea I used this year is the Warm & Cozy Toes idea from Our Best Bites. This works with any color socks and nail polish.

I picked up two pairs of brightly colored, fluffy socks at Target and then went in search of nail polish to match.

I do suggest choosing the socks first, because it's easier to match nail polish to socks than the other way around, by the way.

This was probably the most expensive of the gifts I did, because I believe the socks were $7 per pair and the polish was $4 or $5 per bottle.

Once I threw in the little cello bags, that made each gift about $12 to $13.

But I do think this is a pretty thoughtful gift, and the socks should last a long time. This would be a great gift for a high school or college student, especially in fun, bright colors, I think.

I actually have both of these colors in my own nail polish collection! Jakey and I are partial to lime green, especially at Christmas. Right now he's sporting alternating red and lime green toenails.

If you've got any great neighbor/teacher/babysitter gift ideas, I'm all ears!

She REALLY must not like him. Like, seriously.

My Christmas cards have arrived, but it may well take me all the way up until Christmas Day to get them addressed. One thing I DO know, though, is that our names are signed to them as a family unit. As in, six of us live in our house, and there are six names on our card.

Including Grayson's.

I mention this because this week I read what has got to be one of the oddest letters to Dear Abby that I've ever read in all the years I've been reading her column (which is to say, most of my life):

DEAR ABBY: I am sending out our annual Christmas cards. I do not want to include my husband's name on them this year. We haven't spoken to each other in two years. We still occupy the same house -- but thank God it's large so we don't have to see each other often. We have a son away at college. Please tell me it is OK. -- MARRIED AND NOT, ALBANY, N.Y.

DEAR MARRIED AND NOT: If you follow your impulse and omit your husband's name from the cards, it will be like announcing that he is dead or that you have separated. While I sympathize with you, do not omit his name unless you are prepared to answer the questions that will surely follow. If you're ready to "make an announcement," then do as you wish.

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS SITUATION. How can you live in a large house but still not see your spouse? Do you have separate wings and entrances? How can you not have spoken in two years? You don't have to ask questions about expenses around tax time? You don't talk about your college-age child when report cards or summer plans roll around?

You don't socialize together? If not, then no one should be surprised if you send a card without your "husband's" name on it. And if you do, then clearly you're lying about the not speaking to each other in two years thing. 

I mean, HONESTLY. I could just smack Abby for not asking for MUCH MORE INFORMATION before publishing this letter. Because I don't know how I'm going to be able to sleep tonight without knowing a good bit more about Married and Not in Albany, N.Y.

Ms. Faye's dress-up doll

It came to our attention this week that they've been playing "dress up" with Amelia at school.

This isn't one of our outfits, but she came home with these pictures last Friday. Clearly SOMEONE'S been having fun with her.

Do you know what would happen if WE tried to wrangle her into a red dress and Santa hat? She'd have nothing to do with it! Nothing! But BY ALL MEANS, whatever Ms. Faye, Ms. Dee and Ms. Anna want ... it's all fair game.

She even broke out her Miss America wave for the occasion. Thank goodness someone grabbed the camera, or I never would've believed this ever happened.

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 40

1. Amelia hasn't worn shoes yet. She wore some "for decorative purposes" for our Christmas pictures, but she hasn't worn a single pair for functional purposes yet. I had no idea this was weird until blog reader Laura asked me Amelia's shoe size and I had no idea what is was. Still don't.

2. Wal-Mart recently quit carrying the brand of shampoo Grayson has used for years, so last week he came home with Pert Plus. Which is what I used in 8th grade. So he just effectively set our household's collective hair care regimen back by 25 years.

3. Jake wears three "underwears" in a 24-hour period. He puts on a clean pair when he wakes up, when he goes to bed and anytime he changes clothes in between. Conversely, when I washed clothes last weekend (for the whole week), Nathaniel only had two or three dirty pair. Do that math.

4. My company buys really cheap paper towels, so I have to use five of them to dry my hands. Pretty sure that’s not what they were going for.

5. The other day I Tweeted, "I turned 39 in May. I'm considering getting serious about a 'Fit by 50' program. Who's with me??" And all these people seem to want to do it more quickly than on an 11-year timeframe. What's up with that?

Decorating for Christmas when it's 70 degrees outside feels weird

I can't remember a time when I've decorated for Christmas when it was 70 degrees outside, but that's what happened this year.

Totally bizarre. I just realized you can even tell it from the picture below ... there I am in shorts and a T-shirt, taking a picture of my outdoor door hanging.

My 10-year-old wreath was looking a little ragged this year, so I decided to just string a bunch of ornaments together and hang them from my wreath hanger, instead. I think it came out okay, considering that the ornaments are literally just held together by giftwrap ribbon. Won't hold up in a hurricane, but then again, it feels like freaking spring here right now.

When you come in the front door, I've got our Moravian star, a little Red Letter Words canvas and a tray full of more ornaments on the hall table.

I have decided that a TRAY of ornaments is not as visually appealing as a DOUGH BOWL of ornaments, and I aspire to have a dough bowl for my 2013 foyer table ornament display. Please check back with me in approximately 11 months to see if that dream has come true.

The version of this canvas that Dee has available in her shop right now is a 12x12, but last year I was able to get this little 4x4 version, which is so cute. It was also like $12 or something really reasonable like that. I only keep it out at Christmas, but I love it!

Coming around the corner into our den, I decided to completely change color schemes than what I've always done for Christmas ... I went with silver, blue, green and brown. Although it's not traditional, I'm really loving the change!

I am completely in LOVE with my new stockings, which I bought from Hung by the Chimney on etsy. I mean, REALLY. How cute are they.

Then you won't BELIEVE what I did on the mantle. More ball ornaments.

Yeah ... I kind of had a whole bunch of them, and since I JUST bought new accessories for my mantel, I didn't want to take all my new stuff down and put a lot of Christmas stuff up. So I decided to just throw some garland and ornaments up there with all the bottles.

I'm not one of those people who decorates all over my house. I basically do the front door, the den and a tiny bit in the kitchen. So. We continue on the other side of the den.

I hung an ornament from each of the lamps on the sofa table, and I filled my hurricane globes with gold, frankincense and myrrh. No; just kidding. MORE ROUND ORNAMENTS.

I don't know why I'm so fond of this little vignette, but I really am.

Took like seven more pictures of these things at different angles, but I'll just show you one more.

Next to the couch we have our tree. Our poor, poor tree, which you can basically see through, because we really need a new one. Just not a priority, let me tell you. One day!

It's all decked out with tons of ornaments, including, of course, my very favorites of the kids from every year since they were born. (If you missed it, I told you how to order them EARLY this year, so no one can yell at me for not telling you before they sold out this time.)

I've been collecting ornaments since before we got married, because I've always loved Christmas. And of course, I've added ornaments over the years that are pretty specific to the kids' interests, so we have quite a collection.

Many of my personal favorites have come from the ornament swap we do with Grayson's extended family every other year, and this is one that I got at one of the swaps a few years ago.

I bought this scrapbooking one for my own stocking in Gatlinburg last year. Presh.

The tree is also full of homemade (or, more accurately, "schoolmade") ornaments. The boys LOVE to pull out their handiwork from years past and put it on the tree.

Our babysitter Anna makes us a few beautiful ornaments every year, and they always help balance out some of our less, um, refined pieces.

But the picture below is really probably the best representation of our tree ... our little hodgepodge of ornaments. On any given patch of branches, you might find a brass-plated, grosgrain-ribbon-trimmed ornament with a professional photograph inside, sitting next to a homemade Christmas tree painted on a spare subway tile, hanging out by a red Power Ranger, hung next to a painstakingly hand-crocheted snowflake.

That's just how we roll.

Linking up to Kelly's Korner Christmas Tour of Homes and