1. There are times when I think if I see one more Trix yogurt top, cheese stick wrapper or red delicious apple sticker laying on my kitchen island, I will have a complete come-apart and scar my family for life with my reaction.
2. Ranch dressing is the leading cause of obesity in my house. This could be because I tend to treat it like a fifth food group.
3. This one isn't just MY Uncomfortable Truth; it's also Paige's. Yes, Paige, I am totally going to out you on my blog. We went to lunch the other day, and we started out with the complimentary cheese biscuits. Then we ordered onion rings with a side of Ranch as an appetizer. (The cheese biscuits aren't an appetizer. They're an … amuse bouche.) Then Paige ordered cheese and queso FOR HER MEAL. (I, on the other hand, went with the much healthier loaded baked potato with extra cheese and sour cream on the side.)
4. If you have a Kit Kat in your purse and you lay your purse on the passenger seat of your car not realizing that someone left the seat warmer on High, it will melt. Blow pops, on the other hand, do NOT melt in the same situation, JENNY.
5. Hands down, Chick-fil-A's chicken sandwich is the best food to throw up. There is no need to test this theory yourself; you can just trust me on this one.
I just realized that every single one of these is food-related. I plead Pregnancy Brain.
Mar 14, 2011
Mar 13, 2011
Sunday funnies
When Parents Text
Dad: OMG. Forgot to tell u. I think I saw a wolf in our backyard.
Dad: Huge.
Me: Oh my god
Dad: I called the police.
Me: On a wolf?
Me: Call animal control
Dad: Police can coordinate it.
* * * * * * *
Mom: Girls (I’m sending this txt to all of you ok)…mama is looking for the title of a song that I heard on the radio today. The song starts like this…”la la la hurt you…da da da da da….”. any idea?
* * * * * * *
Mom: See you this afternoon!
Me: Don’t forget to bring pride and prejudice!!!!!
Mom: Colin firth is riding shotgun.
* * * * * * *
Me: You reorganized the pantry! Wow. What made you decide to do that?
Mom: The future is now.
* * * * * * *
Mom: Dad’s on twitter now, he’s driving us crazy. How do we follow you on twitter?
Me: Never gonna happen
(20 minutes later)
Dad: Whats ur tweeter user name
* * * * * * *
Dad: Too small. Cant read. what does it say
Me: Flip your screen
Dad: OK. The back of the phone says Galaxy. What does your message say?
* * * * * * *
Mom: the oscars start in five minutes, get out of the living room!
Me: NO! why can’t you just watch it in your room?
Mom: Because the tvs is biggr.
Me: I was here first
Mom: don’t make me g and pull THE BOX out from undr your bed that smells like weed
Mom: thats right, run!
Parents Shouldn't Text
Damn You Auto Correct
And finally, in honor of my delicate condition:
Mar 11, 2011
A surreal moment
Last night I ran across this picture of Traci and her family (Beneath my Heart), and it struck me that in a few short years, my family could look like this!
Of course, there's a 50/50 chance that it could look four-fifths like that and then the final fifth could be a girl, but I didn't go scouring the Internet to find you a picture of that family.
In this stage of the pregnancy, I'm excited on the inside but can't really show it on the outside because I'm feeling so crummy. But I really AM filled with anticipation about welcoming our new family member, and the boys are even more excited than I am. It's so sweet. I can't wait until I feel well enough to have a little mini-celebration every day.
Speaking of feeling better, I have a little Blogger's Guilt because I have a DESIRE to write a post every day -- and make it a good one -- but I don't have the ABILITY to do it right now. I have like 15 or 16 posts in draft form, really just with a title and a line or two about what I want to write, but I'm not attempting any of them right now. I'd rather wait and then write them when I can do them justice. Something to look forward to, I hope!
Today is Grayson's birthday, so I want to wish him a very happy one! He's been picking up a lot of slack around here over the past five weeks, and I'm lucky to have him. Happy birthday, honey!
Of course, there's a 50/50 chance that it could look four-fifths like that and then the final fifth could be a girl, but I didn't go scouring the Internet to find you a picture of that family.
In this stage of the pregnancy, I'm excited on the inside but can't really show it on the outside because I'm feeling so crummy. But I really AM filled with anticipation about welcoming our new family member, and the boys are even more excited than I am. It's so sweet. I can't wait until I feel well enough to have a little mini-celebration every day.
Speaking of feeling better, I have a little Blogger's Guilt because I have a DESIRE to write a post every day -- and make it a good one -- but I don't have the ABILITY to do it right now. I have like 15 or 16 posts in draft form, really just with a title and a line or two about what I want to write, but I'm not attempting any of them right now. I'd rather wait and then write them when I can do them justice. Something to look forward to, I hope!
Today is Grayson's birthday, so I want to wish him a very happy one! He's been picking up a lot of slack around here over the past five weeks, and I'm lucky to have him. Happy birthday, honey!
Mar 10, 2011
Meet Melanie the monk
I witnessed my very first real-life Damn You Auto Correct moment day before yesterday. I don't have an iPhone, but my friend Melanie just got one last week. She's still adjusting. Of course I told her to download Words with Friends, which is a great app except when you're forced to play the word "thong" in the middle of a game with your dad. AWKWARD BUT NECESSARY. Gotta use those letters up, Internet.
So anyway:
Melanie: "Hey, what's your Words with Friends ID?"
Melanie: "Mine's monastic."
Melanie: "Oops."
Melanie: "mkmaddox"
It may not be as funny when I type it out like that, but what was so funny to me was that I received the texts in real time but didn't have time to respond. So when I saw "monastic," I was like, "WHAT THE HECK? That's a TERRIBLE screen name. Among the worst I've ever seen." It didn't occur to me that it was an auto-correction.
I just thought she was an exceptionally bad screen name chooser.
Unrelated but needs to be said: It is killing me, almost literally KILLING ME, that Chick-fil-A has introduced its banana pudding milkshake "for a limited time only" during a time period in which I can't keep any food down.
I Googled it to see if they've said exactly how "limited" of a time we're talking about, but I couldn't find it. GAH. I Tweeted them last night. I'll let you know what I hear.
So anyway:
Melanie: "Hey, what's your Words with Friends ID?"
Melanie: "Mine's monastic."
Melanie: "Oops."
Melanie: "mkmaddox"
It may not be as funny when I type it out like that, but what was so funny to me was that I received the texts in real time but didn't have time to respond. So when I saw "monastic," I was like, "WHAT THE HECK? That's a TERRIBLE screen name. Among the worst I've ever seen." It didn't occur to me that it was an auto-correction.
I just thought she was an exceptionally bad screen name chooser.
Unrelated but needs to be said: It is killing me, almost literally KILLING ME, that Chick-fil-A has introduced its banana pudding milkshake "for a limited time only" during a time period in which I can't keep any food down.
I Googled it to see if they've said exactly how "limited" of a time we're talking about, but I couldn't find it. GAH. I Tweeted them last night. I'll let you know what I hear.
Mar 8, 2011
Hi.
I'm coming up for air long enough to point you to this post over at Tater Tales. I love it mainly for the paragraph, "David and Tater Tot were running errands Saturday afternoon and I asked if they'd stop at the grocery for milk and bread, as we were dangerously low on both. This is what they came back with," which was followed by this photo:
You should go read the whole post, but that was my favorite part because, truth be told, if you asked ME to go to the store to pick up milk and bread, that's the kind of thing I would come home with, too. Well, not right NOW, when just looking at food is enough to make me sick, but you know, any other time.
For those who've been kind enough to Tweet or e-mail to ask, the status is: I'm throwing up two to three times a day, which actually is not bad compared to previous pregnancies. The Zofran keeps it from being constant. I've lost four pounds, and I'm entering Week 11 today. Weeks 11 through 13 are typically my worst, so I'm battening down the hatches. So far I am still working, although I can tell you right now, the three women in cubes closest to me probably wish I wasn't.
I won't be able to be here much, but you can either follow me on Twitter or just look at my Twitter feed in the sidebar once a day or so to see if I'm still alive. (I plan to be.)
You should go read the whole post, but that was my favorite part because, truth be told, if you asked ME to go to the store to pick up milk and bread, that's the kind of thing I would come home with, too. Well, not right NOW, when just looking at food is enough to make me sick, but you know, any other time.
For those who've been kind enough to Tweet or e-mail to ask, the status is: I'm throwing up two to three times a day, which actually is not bad compared to previous pregnancies. The Zofran keeps it from being constant. I've lost four pounds, and I'm entering Week 11 today. Weeks 11 through 13 are typically my worst, so I'm battening down the hatches. So far I am still working, although I can tell you right now, the three women in cubes closest to me probably wish I wasn't.
I won't be able to be here much, but you can either follow me on Twitter or just look at my Twitter feed in the sidebar once a day or so to see if I'm still alive. (I plan to be.)
Mar 5, 2011
Laughter is the best medicine
I had a terrible week at work, and it was compounded by the "morning" sickness that's present 24 hours a day. For the next several weeks, I will be especially grateful for the things that bring a smile to my face. These things fall into that category, and I wanted to share them with you.
Mom: Ken and Barbie are back together!!
Me: Did they break up?
Mom: Hellooooo in 2004, but they rekindled at toy story 3, and made it official on v-day, aren’t you facebook friends with them?!
Mom: Do you want your acceptance letter to UNCW now or later?
Me: You opened it??
Mom: No, I can see a bumper sticker through the envelope and I don’t think they send you those as a rejection present.
Of note: I'm not sure how much "original content" I'll be able to write for the next month or two. I'll post as often as I can, but some of it -- maybe MOST of it -- will be posting links to other sites or just things I've found interesting in general.
I can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but I KNOW that one day I will feel better. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Parents Shouldn't Text
When Parents Text
Mom: Ken and Barbie are back together!!
Me: Did they break up?
Mom: Hellooooo in 2004, but they rekindled at toy story 3, and made it official on v-day, aren’t you facebook friends with them?!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mom: Do you want your acceptance letter to UNCW now or later?
Me: You opened it??
Mom: No, I can see a bumper sticker through the envelope and I don’t think they send you those as a rejection present.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mom: Dearest katie, I respectfully ask that you delete your last two facebook posts regarding being drunk and naked. Love, mom
FailBlog Wins
Of note: I'm not sure how much "original content" I'll be able to write for the next month or two. I'll post as often as I can, but some of it -- maybe MOST of it -- will be posting links to other sites or just things I've found interesting in general.
I can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but I KNOW that one day I will feel better. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Mar 4, 2011
Sweets for my sweets
Okay, we all know I'm a fan of food. SWEET food in particular. And if it's CUTE, sweet food, then I am completely sold on it, no questions asked.
Occasionally I post some of Bakerella's cute designs here, and until now I'd never really seen anyone who rivals her talent for making me smile just by looking at her pictures of food. But today I bring you someone I just discovered recently, whose posts make me smile every time: The Sweet Adventures of Sugar Belle!
Get ready for an onslaught of pictures, because I had a hard time narrowing down what I wanted to share with you ...
Occasionally I post some of Bakerella's cute designs here, and until now I'd never really seen anyone who rivals her talent for making me smile just by looking at her pictures of food. But today I bring you someone I just discovered recently, whose posts make me smile every time: The Sweet Adventures of Sugar Belle!
Get ready for an onslaught of pictures, because I had a hard time narrowing down what I wanted to share with you ...
Christmas
Ben 10
Whales
Strawberry Shortcake
Fruit Platter
Patriotic
Halloween
Lego Men
The Oscars
Owls
Twilight (I know many of you are fans!)
Spring
Sports
Tangled
Valentine's Day
Dr. Seuss's Birthday
Leprechauns!
These are just a few samples of her work ... but I encourage you to go explore! Since I posted a lot of what she's done since the beginning of this year, if I were you I'd use the LinkWithin widget at the bottom of her posts (like I have on mine) that show "similar" posts from the past. Then you can jump around to random points on her blog.
Happy clicking!
Mar 3, 2011
Slices of Life, Vol. 35
Our children are ridiculously spoiled. Case in point: On one recent evening, Grayson, Nathaniel and I were piddling around on our laptops, Nicholas was on the old desktop PC, and Jake was playing "Angry Buhds" on the iPad.
Nick wasn't able to do something he wanted to do on the PC, so he felt it necessary to lament his plight loudly to the rest of us: "I am on the WORST computer in the whole HOUSE."
Someone might be due for a little poverty education via YouTube.
Driving down to Railroad Park the other day, a song came on the radio that I didn't recognize. Just the first few bars had played when:
Jake: "Mommy. Is this Born This Way?"
Me: "I don't know, Jake. I don't know that song."
Jake: "I tink it is."
Me: "Let's wait until it gets to the chorus, and I'll tell you." ..... "Well, YES, Jake, it IS Born This Way. I think it's Lady Gaga."
Jake: [bobbing his head] "I tott so."
One morning while the boys were getting ready for school, I overheard the following conversation they were having in their bathroom:
Nicholas: "NATHANIEL. LOOK."
Nathaniel: "What."
Nicholas: "My penis is pointing Straight Up and I don't even know HOW." [gleefully] If I peed right now, I'd pee right in my own FACE!"
Nathaniel: "Mommy. Did you write down my reading in my Reading Log today?"
Me: "Yes."
Nathaniel: "Well, how long did you say I read for last night?"
Me: "I put an hour and a half."
Nathaniel: "You need to change it. I'd say I read between an hour and 43 minutes and an hour and 46 minutes a night."
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GETS THAT ANNOYING ATTENTION TO DETAIL.
In early February school closed early because of sleet. As we pulled out of the parking lot toward home:
Me: "Well, I didn't see THIS coming."
Nathaniel: "Didn't see WHAT coming?"
Me: "The sleet. It wasn't in the forecast."
Nathaniel: "Well. It's actually not that surprising, because according to legend, everything's going just like it was planned."
Me: "What?"
Nathaniel: "Well, Birmingham Bill saw his shadow, so that means more winter weather. And this is DEFINITELY winter weather."
Jake may have a future in advertising. A recent teeth brushing conversation with Grayson:
Jake: "Who is this?"
Grayson: "That’s Nick’s new toothbrush." [Unlike every other toothbrush we own, it has no characters or logo on it.]
Jake: "No one is on it. Iss bwo-ken."
The other night Grayson knocked something over in the kitchen and yelled, "DAGNABBIT!"
Nicholas: "Mommy. That's a BAD word. And so is A-S-S. And so is BINCH. And Wal-tuh has called me ALL of those things."
Nathaniel and Nicholas were debating the terms of gift card usage in the van the other night on the way home from supper:
Nathaniel: "Nicholas. You have to use it within a year or it starts losing money. Then it won't be worth as much."
Nicholas: "Of COURSE that's not true. We can save it for more than a year and wait to spend it 'til we have more money to go with it."
Nathaniel: "I'm TELLING you, we CAN'T. It says it right here, IN BRITISH."
Nick wasn't able to do something he wanted to do on the PC, so he felt it necessary to lament his plight loudly to the rest of us: "I am on the WORST computer in the whole HOUSE."
Someone might be due for a little poverty education via YouTube.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Grayson: "Nathaniel, if I fix chicken pasta, will you eat that?"
Nathaniel: "Is that one of the dishes with menorah sauce?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Driving down to Railroad Park the other day, a song came on the radio that I didn't recognize. Just the first few bars had played when:
Jake: "Mommy. Is this Born This Way?"
Me: "I don't know, Jake. I don't know that song."
Jake: "I tink it is."
Me: "Let's wait until it gets to the chorus, and I'll tell you." ..... "Well, YES, Jake, it IS Born This Way. I think it's Lady Gaga."
Jake: [bobbing his head] "I tott so."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One morning while the boys were getting ready for school, I overheard the following conversation they were having in their bathroom:
Nicholas: "NATHANIEL. LOOK."
Nathaniel: "What."
Nicholas: "My penis is pointing Straight Up and I don't even know HOW." [gleefully] If I peed right now, I'd pee right in my own FACE!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nathaniel: "Mommy. Did you write down my reading in my Reading Log today?"
Me: "Yes."
Nathaniel: "Well, how long did you say I read for last night?"
Me: "I put an hour and a half."
Nathaniel: "You need to change it. I'd say I read between an hour and 43 minutes and an hour and 46 minutes a night."
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GETS THAT ANNOYING ATTENTION TO DETAIL.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In early February school closed early because of sleet. As we pulled out of the parking lot toward home:
Me: "Well, I didn't see THIS coming."
Nathaniel: "Didn't see WHAT coming?"
Me: "The sleet. It wasn't in the forecast."
Nathaniel: "Well. It's actually not that surprising, because according to legend, everything's going just like it was planned."
Me: "What?"
Nathaniel: "Well, Birmingham Bill saw his shadow, so that means more winter weather. And this is DEFINITELY winter weather."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jake may have a future in advertising. A recent teeth brushing conversation with Grayson:
Jake: "Who is this?"
Grayson: "That’s Nick’s new toothbrush." [Unlike every other toothbrush we own, it has no characters or logo on it.]
Jake: "No one is on it. Iss bwo-ken."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The other night Grayson knocked something over in the kitchen and yelled, "DAGNABBIT!"
Nicholas: "Mommy. That's a BAD word. And so is A-S-S. And so is BINCH. And Wal-tuh has called me ALL of those things."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nathaniel and Nicholas were debating the terms of gift card usage in the van the other night on the way home from supper:
Nathaniel: "Nicholas. You have to use it within a year or it starts losing money. Then it won't be worth as much."
Nicholas: "Of COURSE that's not true. We can save it for more than a year and wait to spend it 'til we have more money to go with it."
Nathaniel: "I'm TELLING you, we CAN'T. It says it right here, IN BRITISH."
Mar 2, 2011
Lunch at Tip Top Grill
Last Saturday I took the boys up to their school to do some skateboarding and playing on the playground, and we finished up just in time for a late lunch.
We went right down the street to Tip Top Grill, which is a little diner in our neighborhood. For years, it was a Citgo gas station, but several years ago it was converted to the restaurant. Trivia: my friend Lisa and I used to buy cantaloupe there when it was a Citgo ... the owner/operator would bring it in from the country, and it was the BEST cantaloupe in town.
Anyway, we've only eaten at Tip Top a handful of times since it opened, but Saturday was too gorgeous not to stop.
One of the things you have to take into account, though, is how popular it is ... especially on a gorgeous, unseasonably warm day.
When we pulled up, there were no parking spaces and the line was about 15 people deep outside the door. We also noticed that there weren't any tables available.
You can imagine how, with this view of the Oxmoor Valley below, Tip Top is a big draw in Bluff Park.
We ordered our lunch (burgers and corn dogs) and then settled on the pavement to eat, picnic-style. I have eaten picnics in places with FAR worse views, by the way.
I ordered a cheeseburger, and while it wasn't the best cheeseburger I've ever had, it was okay. The fries were really good. The most important thing is, I kept it all down, all day. WINNING, as Charlie Sheen would say.
This one's for my dad ... you can see the power plant in the distance. (I think it's the Smith Hydroelectric Plant, but I'm not sure.)
The railroad tracks run right through the middle of the valley below, and while we were eating, a looooooong train came through, blowing its horn. The boys were so excited and kept trying to guess how long it would be until the end of the train would come out of the woods. SPOILER ALERT: it was like six minutes, so I had to hear a LOT of guesses. Repeatedly. Several times. Again and again.
There was just something about hanging out with my three little men on the top of the mountain, enjoying the beautiful day and filling our tummies up with greasy food ... it was simply the best.
We went right down the street to Tip Top Grill, which is a little diner in our neighborhood. For years, it was a Citgo gas station, but several years ago it was converted to the restaurant. Trivia: my friend Lisa and I used to buy cantaloupe there when it was a Citgo ... the owner/operator would bring it in from the country, and it was the BEST cantaloupe in town.
Anyway, we've only eaten at Tip Top a handful of times since it opened, but Saturday was too gorgeous not to stop.
One of the things you have to take into account, though, is how popular it is ... especially on a gorgeous, unseasonably warm day.
When we pulled up, there were no parking spaces and the line was about 15 people deep outside the door. We also noticed that there weren't any tables available.
You can imagine how, with this view of the Oxmoor Valley below, Tip Top is a big draw in Bluff Park.
We ordered our lunch (burgers and corn dogs) and then settled on the pavement to eat, picnic-style. I have eaten picnics in places with FAR worse views, by the way.
I ordered a cheeseburger, and while it wasn't the best cheeseburger I've ever had, it was okay. The fries were really good. The most important thing is, I kept it all down, all day. WINNING, as Charlie Sheen would say.
This one's for my dad ... you can see the power plant in the distance. (I think it's the Smith Hydroelectric Plant, but I'm not sure.)
The railroad tracks run right through the middle of the valley below, and while we were eating, a looooooong train came through, blowing its horn. The boys were so excited and kept trying to guess how long it would be until the end of the train would come out of the woods. SPOILER ALERT: it was like six minutes, so I had to hear a LOT of guesses. Repeatedly. Several times. Again and again.
There was just something about hanging out with my three little men on the top of the mountain, enjoying the beautiful day and filling our tummies up with greasy food ... it was simply the best.
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