Mar 8, 2013

Weak stomachs need not apply

Yesterday while I was driving to work, I heard one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard.

And you might be thinking, "She's prone to hyperbole. It's probably not that bad." But Internet. It's not hyperbole this time. It actually nauseated me while I was driving, just thinking about it. And of course my first thought was, "I have to tell my blog readers about this."

But let me warn you: Once you know this little tidbit of information, you can't unknow it. OH BUT IF I COULD.

Buddy Roberts. This is your extra warning. Leave now and don't look back.

Now on the OTHER side of the coin, I think there are a few of you who are going to want to THANK me for giving you this information. Sickos. No, really, it's okay. I've known people like you my whole life, and I don't get it, but whatevs.

Last chance to click away.

Okay. Here it is:

There are videos on youtube of people popping zits and blackheads. Huge ones. EPIC, even. Ones that require hospitalization and sedation. Zits that shoot pus the color and shape of dirty shoelaces out of them. (NO I'M NOT GOING TO LINK TO ANY OF THEM. I'M NOT AN ENABLER, INTERNET.)

That's it. That's what I have to share with you today. I'm pretty sure you're going to fall into one of three categories:

  1. I can't believe you told me that. I can't unknow it, and I'm going to have nightmares tonight. I hate you. Goodbye forever.
  2. Oh, I popped my sister's back zits when we were growing up, so I don't need to go watch any videos of it. I'm good, thanks.
  3. I'm sorry. I don't have time to leave a comment because I'm stampeding over to youtube. I wonder how many of these videos I can watch before lunch.

I'm going to go pass out now. Please tell me which category you fit into in the comments. When I come to, I'll read them and respond.

1 comment:

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