Nov 13, 2009

Reasons I am nuts

Because clearly we need more proof:

When I'm walking through a store and I get a pack of gum or my phone out of my purse, it's all good until I go to put the item back in my purse. Are they going to see me put something in my purse on the security camera? Are they going to send a security guard out to check my purse as I try to exit the store because they saw me stash my phone and think I'm shoplifting? To counteract this possible scenario, I find my ridiculous self sometimes exaggerating my movements and visibly holding my phone or whatever aloft for a moment before putting it away.

Related: When I leave a department store and the shoplifting buzzers don't go off, I feel strangely proud. WHY? I have no idea. It's not like I'm pulling one over on someone ... I'M NOT TAKING ANYTHING I DIDN'T PAY FOR. I suppose it's just the blush of being a law-abiding citizen.

Unrelated: You know what really throws me off? When a friend who has lived in the same house FOREVER moves somewhere else. It's not the actual move that kills me. It's the fact that I've gone for years looking up their address on Page 1 of the Ns in my address book, and now they're on Page 3 of the Ns. Disconcerting. It will take me two years to get used to flipping that extra page to find them.

I give way too much thought to things that most people probably don't think about at all. I know this. I have accepted it about myself. I AM BONKERS. But I am very encouraged that -- aside from one or two things in this category -- someone else out there has admitted to having similar thoughts. Thank you for sharing your Crazy with me, too.


Sarah T. said...

You are so not nuts. You're one of the least nuts people I know. Paranoid at being perceived as a shop lifter? Maybe. But quite sane.

Rachel said...

How funny that you actually think about these things and make a list. Cracks me up!!!

Erin said...

I breathe a big sigh of relief every time a police officer drives past me, even though I drive like a grandma. I also make it a point to NOT make eye contact with them, lest they somehow KNOW what a criminal I really am behind the minivan-driving, toddler-toting facade.

Make you feel better?

Wade's World said...

I think we're cut from the same mold! I also hate digging in my purse and am convinced that they are going to haul me into a small room and shine a light on my face, even though I didn't steal anything!

I gave you a bloggy award over at my blog. Have a great day!

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

SET, Thank you. I still feel nuts, but knowing that you think I'm not makes it feel a little better.

Rachel, YOU DON'T MAKE A LIST? My brain is like one big list. It's scary.

Erin, That DEFINITELY makes me feel better. As a matter of fact, I should co-opt yours and add it to my own list. I'm the same way.

World, I am totally intimidated by figures of authority, even those with "questionable authority," like the women who stand there handing out hang-tag numbers at dressing rooms, keeping you from taking more than six items back at a time. THEY RULE ME.

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