Oct 4, 2008

Four!

Nicholas,

Buddy, you are one amazing little man. “Three” was a tough year for you. You tested every single boundary there was to test. You pushed every limit. You broke every rule. Repeatedly. I never would have thought one little person could have pitched as many fits or yelled as loudly or been punished as many times in one year as you accomplished in 2008.




And yet, outside of all of those incidents, you’ve maintained your sensitive inner core. There were always glimpses of it, even at your worst moments. And I wonder if that sensitivity is what was the root of the issues … that things that wouldn’t have set anyone else off, set you off because you just have a more defined sense of justice that rules your world. You are so concerned with how we treat you, that we treat you equally to (or better than) Nathaniel and Jake. It’s like a self-preservation instinct that’s really ingrained in you. I actually find it quite endearing a lot of the time – even though it’s often monumentally inconvenient – because it reminds me of how true you are to yourself and what a strong person you’ve become.




The thing that has illustrated to me how much you’ve grown up this year, though, is your evident, tangible love for Jake. Before he arrived, I was worried that you might perceive him as a threat to your place in the family. But from Day 1, you accepted and embraced him – and your new role as a Big Brother – wholeheartedly. I wish you could see the way you literally TREMBLE when you get near him; I’ve tried to catch it on video, but I don’t think I’ve been successful yet. You HAVE to stop what you’re doing and love on him (hug and kiss him) at least once every three to four minutes. It’s really comical. And when you hug him, you just tremble with the effort it takes not to crush him with the force of your love. It totally cracks me up.




We had to have a talk recently about your behavior, though, because sometimes you can be destructive when you don’t get your way. Whether it’s arguing over why you didn’t get a peanut butter and honey sandwich for supper (your absolute favorite), why you need to wear a jacket (because it’s below 30 degrees outside), or why you have to go to school today (it’s a weekday), sometimes you just completely fly off the handle and pitch a fit or throw things. I sat you down and explained to you that anytime you aren’t doing something for the good of the family, it is to the detriment of the family. Anything that doesn’t help us, hurts us. Amazingly, I think it made an impact on you. I’ve truly seen some changes in your behavior, including a solid three weeks without any incident reports or calls from school. And I’m so very proud of you for listening.



My approval means a lot to you; you ask me a lot if I’m “impwessed” with something you’ve done. And my dear, I always am. You no longer let me leave the house in the mornings without TWO hugs, and you chase me to the garage if I try to leave after only one. I am so proud to be your mommy, so happy that you are my son, so happy that I have a lifetime of Nicholas ahead of me.



Love,
Mommy

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