Slices of Life, Vol. 20

Driving down the road in our new minivan:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, don't you just LOVE our new minivan? The baby doesn't even touch the steering wheel anymore!"











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While visiting with Grayson's family over Thanksgiving, Nicholas asked me for a juice box. Our nephew Matt offered to get it for him, and as Nicholas was following him to the kitchen, we heard the following exchange:

Matt: "So you want a juice box?"

Nicholas: "Yes."Matt: "What's the magic word?"

Nicholas: [pause] "Hocus pocus?"

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Recently Nathaniel was enjoying some quiet time while Nicholas was napping. I was scrapbooking nearby, listening to him play in the kitchen with some action figures. For some reason, although we own about a million action figures, he was playing with Anakin Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi, a hairbrush and a ballpoint pen.

Nathaniel: "Crash! Boom! Tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat! You're dead! No, you're dead! No, you're ALL dead!!"

Me: [peeking around the corner] "Wow! That was a lot of fighting. Is everyone dead?"

Nathaniel: "Nope. I'm still making plans with some of them." [with Obi Wan and the pen facing each other] "OK, Pen ... here's the plan ..."

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Nicholas: "I don't like grown-ups. They pop me."

Me: "Which ones?"

Nicholas: "The ones in this house. YOU, and DADDY."

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Throughout the holidays, the boys loved driving around after school, looking at all of the Christmas lights. While driving through a neighborhood adjacent to ours:

Me: "Look! There's an inflatable we haven't seen before! It's a nativity scene."

Nicholas: "Yeah, there's Mary, Joseph, animals and Baby Jesus in his Pack-n-Play!"

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Over MLK weekend, we were in the car on the way over to my friend Lisa's house. Grayson was driving separately, so it was just me and the boys, and I was explaining that for part of the afternoon, Lisa, Honor and I were going to see a movie:

Nathaniel: "Who will be with us while you, Lisa and Honor go to the movie?"

Me: "Doug and Daddy."

Nathaniel: "Doug and Daddy are going to stay with me, Nick-a-liss, Josh, DJ, Hannah, Haley AND baby Jackson?"

Me: "Yes."

Nathaniel: "That is not going to work. We need to have AT LEAST one mommy there with all of those kids."

Me: "Well, that's good thinking, buddy, but I think Doug and Daddy can handle it."

Nathaniel: "I don't think so. I will help take care of the littler kids for half of the time." [pause] "Except, I don't know what half of the time is. Can you call me at half time? Then I will stop playing and start helping watch the littler kids."

[Cut to 20 minutes later, where Lisa and I were looking at some paint chips in a bedroom while the guys watch the kids. Nathaniel comes running into the bedroom at breakneck speed.]

Nathaniel: "LISA!!!"

Lisa: "Yes?"

Nathaniel: "DJ just opened the door and went outside WITHOUT A GROWN-UP!"

Lisa: "Where are Doug and your daddy?"

Nathaniel: [pivots on his heel and looks at me pointedly] "I DON'T KNOW."

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Last night, I was sitting with the boys in the den. They were on the couch and I was in a chair.

Nicholas: "Mommy, hand me my milk."

Me: "First of all, you didn't ask nicely. And second of all, you're just as close to it as I am."

Nicholas: "No, you are closer."

Me: [stretching my arm out toward the end table] "I am not actually any closer, and see? My arm can't reach it."

Nicholas: [limpidly stretching his arm somewhat in the direction of the end table] "But your arms are LONGER."

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Yesterday morning I had a little "episode" where I got really dizzy, sweaty and nauseated. I've had several of these events over the past few months, but none at a time when there wasn't another adult around. However, Grayson left early Sunday morning on a business trip, so this time it was just Nathaniel and Nicholas who were there with me.

Nathaniel was great in the "crisis" -- and I truly use that term lightly -- turning the fan on me and helping me get to the bed. After about 15 minutes, the feeling had passed (as usual), and we were back to getting ready for church. But I thought it would be prudent to teach Nathaniel how to dial 911, just in case I did end up passing out at some point. I was worried about scaring him, but I needn't have been:

Me: "Nathaniel, let's take a look at how to dial 911 on this phone, just in case you ever need to do it."

Nathaniel: "Well, if I ever have to dial 911 because you're sick and Daddy's not home and you have to go to the hospital, don't worry. I can take care of everything at the house."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Nathaniel: "Well, I can take care of Nick-a-liss, and I know how to fix things we can eat. I mean, I know that I can't use the stove or the oven, because that's dangerous. But I can reach LOTS of things in the pantry. Like Apple Jacks. And Pop-Tarts. So we would be totally fine."

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