'It reminds me of a dog'

Yesterday I was walking back into my office building with my friend Misty after lunch when I finally remembered to stop and ask our security guard a question.

Me: "Wes, what's the guard's name who stands in the deck across the street, the one who always punches the elevator button for us at the end of the day?"

Wes: "Um ..."

Me: "Is it Zack? I thought I heard someone call him Zack once."

Wes: "Naw, it ain't Zack. Starts with a D."

Me: "Huh. Maybe it SOUNDS like Zack. Dak? Dax?"

Wes: "Naw, it reminds me of a dog."

Me: "Dane?"

Misty: "Dalmatian?"

Wes: "NO."

Me:  "Dachshund? Doc?"

Misty: "Dingo?"

Wes: "NO. Lemme think."

Misty: "SAMSONITE! Wow, I was way off."

[A brilliant reference to this and SO on point.]

Three minutes passed. We stared at Wes in the lobby. He avoided eye contact. He finally said, "I just can't remember. It reminds me of a dog, but I can't come up with it."

We gave up and headed to our desks, dejected. All I wanted to do was to be able to call "Dane" by his name to thank him every evening -- but I didn't really want him to know I didn't already KNOW his name, so I hated to ask him myself.

Pride aside, as I left the office last night and walked across the street to the parking deck, I psyched myself up to ask.

Me: "Thanks so much for calling the elevator for me! You're so nice. What's your name again?"

Him: "Menard."

Me: "MIN-NARD?"  [Thinking, "That can't be right. It doesn't start with a D AND it has nothing to do with dogs.]

Him: "BERNARD."