Nov 13, 2013

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 57

1. Recently a woman who meant to fly to Granada got on a plane to Grenada. First of all, I didn't know those were two different places. Second of all, well. There is no second of all. That could have totally happened to me.

2. I've been dieting since July 15th. I woke up one recent Saturday morning and smelled cinnamon rolls baking in the oven, and tears pricked my eyelids. ACTUAL TEARS. Self-deprivation is a fate worse than death for someone like me.

3. Well this guy just summed me up in a nutshell.

4. Back to the diet: I recently had to stay in the car while my whole family went in Krispy Kreme to buy doughnuts on a Sunday night. I cannot trust myself in their HOT-NOW presence. Because I can eat a dozen plain glazed all by myself. In one sitting.

5. Every time I get to the end of an aisle at the grocery store, I freeze. It's as if I have a huge fear that some suburban woman's gonna jump out and yell "BOO!" at me right as I make the turn. I inch forward until I can see my way around every time.

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