Out of the mouths of friends

I mentioned yesterday that Nick and his 8-year-old friend Drake often play Minecraft while on speakerphone. On MY iPhone speakerphone.

It happens several nights a week after homework is complete, supper is over and the kitchen is clean, and Nick has some time before bed for an activity of his choosing. At this juncture, Minecraft-over-speakerphone is his choosing.

So what I've found over the last several weeks is that it's easy to forget that a kid is lingering there on speakerphone in your den if they're not constantly talking. And sometimes there are some lengthy silences while the boys are playing. Now, I may be jinxing myself, but I haven't done anything embarrassing YET while they have been on the phone.

But last night, Grayson and Nathaniel were at Cub Scouts, so it was just Nick, Jake, Amelia and me at home, and Amelia and I were playing on the couch and the floor while Jake was watching TV and Nick was playing Minecraft with Drake. (Got all that?)

And in a relatively short period of time (maybe four or five minutes), several things happened while there was a lull in their conversation, resulting in me forgetting that they were on the phone together:

• Amelia had a really stinky diaper that I changed on the floor in the den, and I MIGHT have been rather dramatic about how bad it smelled.
• Jake got really upset because when he asked me to add Pokemon to the list of shows we record, and I agreed but then changed the settings on the other kids' shows we record to only keep two episodes of each one, A TRAGEDY ON PAR WITH THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC.
• Amelia had a total meltdown because her chubby thighs got caught between the cushions of the couch and she needed my help to get free (I was sitting right beside her).
• Jake couldn't find the TiVo remote, and we looked all OVER the room for it, including under all the furniture, only to go back and look where he'd been sitting on the couch and find it right there; and
• Scout diarrhea-pooped slightly east of the Christmas tree on the carpet.

When there was suddenly a quiet moment again:

Nick: "Drake. Are you still there?"

Drake: "Yeah, I'm here."  [pause]  "You guys need a reality show."

Minecraft: What I think of it

There have been just a few things over the years that have taken our house by storm. The one that stands out most in my mind at the moment is the Lego Star Wars game on the Wii. 

When Nathaniel and Nick were about 6 and 4 years old, we got the Wii, and Lego Star Wars was among the first games we received to play on it. We had to PEEL them away from it, they were so obsessed with it. I'd never seen anything like it!

They've had more than a passing interest in other things, such as Beyblades (GAG), but nothing that they've obsessed over like that Star Wars game until now. Until Minecraft (DOUBLE GAG).

image source: mojang.com

You may recall that we surprised Nick with a Minecraft-themed birthday cake in October, and there may or may not be a few Minecraft items under the Christmas tree next month. (I mean, I may hate Minecraft, but I'm not a MONSTER.)

Basically, the reason I bring this up is that blog reader Leanna sent me an email telling me that her 9-year-old son wants to play it, and she wanted to see if I'd recommend it. (Her email was longer than that and asked a couple of more specific questions, so when you see the length of my response to her, please factor that in.) (But also, you know, I can just be rather wordy, like, such as.)

I know at least two more of you out there (Hi, Lisa and Robin!) have kids who play Minecraft, so I'm hoping that any of you who have opinions about it might chime in in the Comments with helpful information and/or cautionary tales. Only, please no tales of kids who have died of brain bleeds or something while playing video games. I'm in no kind of shape to take that. 

And now, my email response:
 

Leanna,

Our kids play the paid version of Minecraft, which they had to pay for with their own money. Nathaniel bought the PC version for his laptop with saved allowance, and they each (three) bought the app for their iPods with allowance (I think it was a few dollars).

They used to play ROBLOX but have lost interest in that now. Minecraft has completely taken over, and from what I understand, it's the "big thing" everywhere now. All the kids in their Scout dens talk about it, as well as all the kids at school. It's available on the XBox now, so I think that's why it's really taken off now. (We don't have an XBox.)

I don't know if you'd consider it "dark" ... I don't think it's as dark as something like Star Wars, personally. I mean, the graphics aren't that great, if you ask me, and it's really just a glorified Lego building game with a fighting element. It's an environment they build (and customize) and play the game within. Night in the game isn't like night in the real world ... I really don't think it's too scary for a 9-year-old. It doesn't scare Jake, and he's 4.

Having said that, it's "addictive." All the kids like it, so of course they all want to talk about it and play it all the time. Nick's friend Drake calls my phone all the time so they can play it over the phone. Ridiculous. Grayson and I recently put restrictions on Minecraft play ... on weekends they can play it until lunchtime, then between lunch and supper they cannot play it at all. After supper, they can play until bedtime. That's usually another hour or 90 minutes if they choose to play it. For them, the time flies. They can't believe it when their time is up.

We are on the verge of reducing it even more, depending on their behavior at the house (talking back, disobedience, etc.) because it's the thing they like the most, so it's the thing they hate to have taken away.

Anyway, I would advise you to resist it if your son is impressionable, just because, as I said, there's an addictive/peer element to the game that I DO NOT LIKE. But I'm not saying it's dangerous or anything to that degree ... if I thought that, I wouldn't allow it at all. It's just like Defcon 5 Annoying at this point.

Does that help? I can also poll my blog readers if you'd like!

The eyes have it

Please notice how the two adorable children in these pictures are looking right at the phone, eyes pointing in the same direction.

While the crazy lady between them is try to look at the camera with one eye while keeping the other eye on the shutter button because she keeps hitting it -- so she thinks -- but it's not taking any pictures.

So you're left with the weird sensation that while the kids are cute, as Miss Teen South Carolina once famously said, the crazy lady seems to be looking at "South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere, like, such as."

 I had no idea my eyes were even capable of that, like, such as.

Giveaway for anyone, anywhere, because I hate to discriminate

A few weekends ago, I was thrilled to be invited to The Shops of Grand River for brunch and a Fall Fashion Tutorial, courtesy of Grand River (of course), the team at KC Projects and the oh-so-fabulous Tracy James.

Now. I know what you're all thinking: "Grass. You're SO fashionable, why in the WORLD would you need to go to a fashion tutorial, unless it was to be the guest speaker?"

You're right. But sometimes you have to be the change you want to see in this world. I had to set my ego aside, pull my maternity shorts up and try to get over the fact that I wasn't asked to speak. My friend Rachel -- otherwise a lovely, affirming person -- had invited me to simply OBSERVE.

Oh, and spend a $50 gift card on the premises AND give one away to one of you. So there's that.

I'd love to tell you that I was wearing my black maternity shorts because A) I thought they'd be the most forgiving apparel for the sprinting I needed to do during our blogger scavenger hunt; or B) I'm pregnant (biologically 99.9% impossible), but neither of those things is true. I was wearing them because they're what fit. It was hard to show up at a fashion event not-pregnant-and-wearing-maternity-shorts, but it became markedly harder once Tracy James made a reference to how hard it can be to find clothes appropriate for her IN THE JUNIORS' SECTION OF THE STORE OH MAH GAW KILL ME NOW.

But other than that single offhanded remark, she was perfectly delightful.

She gave a funny, thoughtful, stylish presentation on all of the top trends for Fall and Winter, and she had examples of almost everything with her. The BRILLIANT thing was that everything there could be purchased at Grand River. And let me tell you, was THAT effective. A couple of women couldn't get out that door fast enough at the end of the presentation to find some of the hottest items.

Rachel, Robin, Jamie and I looked around for jeans, and I almost melted in a puddle of sweat right there in the dressing room. Shopping makes me sweat, shopping for jeans makes me sweat even grosser, and shopping for jeans while girlfriends shout out numbers ranging from 1 to 10 at my butt makes me sweat to the point where I'm likely to give you a look like this if you try to take a picture of me at that moment:

Just ask Robin.

Regardless, the day was completely worth the sweat and the maternity shorts. I got to spend lots of time with some of my favorite people:

(Thanks to Beth for this picture of Robin, Stephanie and Beth.)

AND, I still get to share some of the fun with you.

So here's the deal: I have a $50 gift card from The Shops of Grand River to give away to one of you. But I feel bad that it's only local, because I want anyone to be able to win and use it. So when I pull a winning number or whatever it is I'll do to determine a winner, if someone out of town/state wins, I'll substitute a $25 Target gift card. Then I'll choose again for an in-town winner. But if an in-towner gets pulled first, I get to save my $25 to put toward some new maternity shorts.

It's as simple as leaving a comment ... One comment per person, please. Good luck! Comments close on Thursday night.

Disclosure: I was given $50 gift card to spend on myself and a $50 gift card for a reader giveaway in exchange for attending this event. I also got to eat an amazing brunch. My opinions and maternity shorts are completely my own. Not that The Shops of Grand River are going to want to be claiming credit for anything within this post, but you know. Full disclosure and all that.

Thanksgiving in a bunch of random pictures

I don't know if I mentioned it, but I was planning to cook for Thanksgiving. Then plans changed.

We were invited to join my mom's side of the family at the country club for the big mid-day meal, and, well. Who was going to say no to that? Not any of us, that's who.

If you've been reading my blog for any period of time, you may not recognize three of the boys in the pictures below. That's because they are wearing button-down shirts. Which we do not own. Literally. My mom made a Wednesday run to the mall to buy the boys country-club-appropriate shirts, since we didn't have any.

I'm not even kidding.

Please enjoy them looking so polished, because you probably won't see the likes of this again until high school graduation.

Funny note about the picture above: Jake was looking off to the side right before it was taken, and Grayson said, "Jake, no, look THIS WAY." And Jake immediately obeyed. He did exactly what Grayson said.

So we ended up with a picture of Jake looking up Amelia's dress.

So we tried it again, and it went a little better. Please enjoy my huge hand taking a starring role on Nick's left shoulder. It looks like Thing from The Addams Family.

Next, we tried to get a good picture of the four kids together. I'm sure you're dying to know how that went. Jake's eyes and Amelia's face really tell the whole story.

We did manage to get a picture of our whole luncheon group, though, so all wasn't lost.

And afterward, we did Very Important Things like show Great Uncle Dick how cool peppermint wrappers are ...

And remind everyone how freaking adorable we are when we have a bow in our hair. OH MY GAW.

We spent most of the rest of Thursday in a food coma, hanging out on the couch, occasionally getting up to do some Christmas decorating.

 

None of the lights on my pre-lit Christmas tree decided to cooperate this year, so I had to light it up myself. THAT WASN'T ANNOYING IN THE SLIGHTEST. The kids love those huge, tacky bulbs, so I loaded our tree up with those. I have to admit, they're pretty darn festive. Not to mention, NASA called, and they can see them from the moon.

Friday, instead of doing our part to get our economy out of the gutter, we decided to get all healthy and went for a bike ride/walk on a local trail. I don't know about everyone else, but I felt super self-righteous about it. I plan to gloat about how granola we all are and how materialistic everyone else is all day today.

As I load up my Amazon cart. I mean, it IS Cyber Monday, after all. Hope alls y'alls had a great Thanksgiving. Granola Kat, signing off.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Amelia, her very first bow and I would like to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving.

I know. She's 14 months old and most good Southern moms have had their baby girls in bows for more than a year at this point. My apologies. She still hardly has any hair.

You guys may be interested to know that on Thanksgiving Eve, she wore a hand-me-down outfit from blog reader Tracey Reid that got many compliments yesterday. And today, she's wearing a hand-me-down from blog reader Laura Holker that I expect will garner the same. It has coordinating striped tights! Adorable. My readers are the best.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Grandparents' Day

Since I covered Nick's Ironman Turkey with you earlier this week, I really ought to give one of Nathaniel's recent projects a little airtime, too.

His class has been working on an Around-the-World project for several weeks now, and he was assigned the Pearl Harbor Memorial for his personal project. He had to prepare a report, a scrapbook page and a 3-D model as part of the project, and he presented it on his school's Grandparents' Day.

We put crushed shells in the bottom of a clear Tupperware container, painted a balsa-wood canoe brown and weighed in down with ball bearings, carved a piece of white foam to look like the memorial itself, and added blue food coloring to water to finish it off.

Nathaniel and his classmates presented their projects several times during the day to the grandparents who visited their classroom. The signed and stamped the grandparents' "passports" according to what country their landmark was in, and apparently everyone had a great time. (Parents weren't invited.)

We got to see all of the projects that night at Open House. We took Nick, Jake and Amelia, and my parents joined us again for the evening, even though they'd already seen all of the projects.

 Pearl Harbor! In 3-D! Not exactly to scale, but let's not split hairs, Internet.

My dad took this cute picture of Nick and Nathaniel with Nathaniel's beloved teacher, Mrs. E. Isn't she cute as a button?

We also got to visit Nick's classroom as part of Open House. He LOVES his teacher, Mrs. P. How precious is SHE? Too cute for words.

She has grown children, if you can believe that. I know. She looks 19. Ridonkulous. I'm her Room Mom, and every time I see her, I feel like I could be her ACTUAL mom.

My parents went back the following day to have lunch with Nick, because as part of Grandparents' Day, they'd eaten lunch with Nathaniel the day before. And Nick, who wouldn't wipe the table at home under the threat of death, was assigned "cafeteria cleanup" that day. So my dad memorialized it for me.

Two weeks later, I still can't believe my eyes. Looks like Nick can't, either.

I'm so glad my parents got to come experience such a fun couple of days with the boys! And since we'll have at least one child in elementary school for the next, oh, 12 years, there's plenty more where that came from.

Survivor, Grass Stains style

Grayson and I started a tradition about 12 years ago with our friends Kyle and Susan that revolved around the then-new TV show Survivor. We all thought it was a neat concept, and we got together to watch it every week.

We watched several seasons with them, and then they moved to Atlanta. We watched a couple on our own, and then Grayson lost interest. I watched a couple more seasons by myself, but then I let it go for a few years, too. I didn't pick back up until one of the All-Star seasons or maybe the recent Heroes vs. Villains season.

At any rate, now that Nathaniel and Nick are quite the outdoorsmen themselves, they are interested in the show, too, and we allow them to watch with us as long as they don't repeat any of the more "colorful language" they hear on the show. That's the deal.

image source

So, back to the tradition. It wasn't just watching the show with friends. It involved a voting system. OF COURSE IT DID. Because I have to make a game out of everything.

For the current season of Survivor, I resurrected the voting tally sheets that we hadn't used in years.

With Kyle and Susan, the couple who ended up with the least combined points at the end of the season took the winning couple to supper at the restaurant of the winning couple's choice.

With our kids, same rules, except we're playing as individuals -- and Grayson and I will pay for the meal either way. But ultimately one of the kids gets to pick, or one of the adults gets to pick the restaurant.

We're still an episode or two behind at the moment, but this is how it works: each week, right after the players all make their case at Tribal Council (and before the vote), we pause it and we each share who we think is getting voted off that night. Then we hit Play, and we see how it plays out.

Once we've seen who got voted off, we then vote on who we think the eventual winner of the show will be. So the most points you can earn in one night is 1 point -- until Finale Night. On Finale Night, when the winner is revealed, I'll go back and see who has the most votes listed in the Eventual Winner column for the person who ultimately won the game, and I'll add all of those votes to each person's total.

Right now I am leading with six points. But that can change at any time. I'm pretty sure Jakey's not a threat, though -- you'll notice that two weeks ago, he voted for someone named "Cheft." And there is no contestant named anything like "Cheft" on the show. So, there's that.

But if you watch Survivor, this is a great way to add another fun element to your night!

Our Ironman Turkey

Last week Nick came home with an assignment: a photocopied turkey on plain white paper. The top of the paper was titled "Family Turkey Project," and the instructions were to work together as a family to decorate it.

It didn't have to be fancy ... Mrs. P said we could use buttons, cotton balls, cereal, pasta ... anything we had around the house. Just to have fun and decorate it together.

But of course, Nick wanted to do more. He asked her if she'd ever seen an Ironman Turkey. AN IRONMAN TURKEY.

She had not. (I would, in fact, be willing to bet that the majority of the world has never seen the likes of an Ironman Turkey.) So that is what he decided would be our theme.

Our theme necessitated a trip to Michael's, since we don't keep a lot of crafty red, royal blue, gold and silver things on hand in the house. I will spare you the play-by-play of taking the 8-, 4- and 1-year-olds to Michael's on Sunday afternoon, but suffice it to say, I've experienced trips to the gynecologist that were less painful and more fun.

Nick and I ended up doing the bulk of the project together, as most everyone else couldn't be bothered.

I think, all told, we spent about seven hours on it, including the shopping trip. How could something like this take seven hours, you ask? Well. The glue stick we first used to stick stuff down didn't work. So we had to find a new adhesive (Elmer's). The pipe-cleaner things have wires in them, and they all had to be cut down precisely to size. 

The glitter glue that we used decoratively took more than 24 hours to dry, and if we tried to work on other elements in the meantime, the glitter glue would smear everywhere.

Not to mention that the three types of glue we then had on our paper made the paper itself bow up, making it nearly impossible to get any of the elements to STICK TO THE PAPER, so I ended up stacking heavy books on top of it ("BUT DON'T SQUISH THE PUFFY BALLS, MOMMY!") to make everything stick down.

I don't know if we ended up with more of a Liberace/peacock hybrid than an Ironman Turkey, but regardless, Nick is about as proud of this guy as he is of any craft we've ever done.

So. Happy Thanksgiving from all of us and Liberace Ironman Turk-a-Lurk.

Gobble gobble.

*Liberace image source, Ironman image source

Internet roundup

Some days you feel like an asset. Some days you feel like a liability. Yesterday was more of the latter ... so I decided to take a day off from thinking about writing and focus a little more on some things that would make me laugh. Hope they do the same for you.

Via FailBlog:

I've never understood the appeal or necessity of Roman numerals. If it were up to me, this is exactly how they'd work:

If you're not well-off enough to be able to afford an alarm system, then by all means, get creative. I'm behind you one hundred percent.

Yes. This.

Via 22 Words:

I don't think it's a coincidence that the dog in the background looks pretty smug, while his buddy in the foreground looks absolutely glum.

I'm guessing the answer is supposed to be "lap"? But honestly, "penis" is more accurate in terms of the arrow.

As Abraham pointed out, what does a product have to do around here to get a five-star rating?

I suppose sometimes you've just gotta own it:

My parents were never bumper-sticker people. But it's crossed my mind a few times that if I were ever to borrow someone's car and it had a political bumper sticker on it, I might have to add a note of my own!