Uncomfortable truths, vol. 37

1. It's a foregone conclusion that every time I go for a jog, I will somehow accidentally rip my earbuds unceremoniously out of my ears, and it will feel like my ear drums came out with them. It's usually one of my Top Five Worst Moments of the Week.

2. I never stop and fill up my gas tank until the needle is below empty. I know that I can get 300 miles per tank around town and 400 on the highway, so I don't even really use the needle as an indicator ... I just look at my trip odometer. But when I happen to see that the needle is hovering below half a tank, I get irritated. REALLY irritated. I just hate taking the time to stop and get gas.

3. Recently in the middle of the night I got up and went to the bathroom without turning any lights on. When I went to wipe, there was no TP on the roll. Not a square. So I had to use the cardboard roll itself to blot enough off so that I could safely dash to the linen closet 30 feet away to get a new roll. This was by no means the first time I've ever done that. DON’T EVEN TRY TO TELL ME YOU’VE NEVER WIPED WITH THE CARDBOARD.

4. I'm petrified to drive while wearing flip-flops. I'm scared they're somehow going to hook around the accelerator and I'll cause an accident ... so I just never wear them in the car at all.

5. This has actually kept me up at night: How confident are we REALLY that "Jesus" is pronounced "Jee-zus" and not "Hay-soos"? I don't want to be part of the problem; I like being part of the solution.