Aug 9, 2012

Uncomfortable truths: Olympics edition

1.       There is a serious preponderance of cameltoe at the London 2012 Games. A SERIOUS PREPONDERANCE, INTERNET. I notice it most on the divers. WAZZUP, LADYBITS? I CAN SEE YOU FROM THE NOSEBLEED SEATS.

2.       And not only is there cameltoe, but there’s also … I don’t know what the proper terminology is. It is the result of the men’s shorts not actually being SHORTS, and instead more like a second skin. Rhino Toe? I don’t know.

But U.S. rower Henrik Rummel in particular has garnered a lot of attention this week for his Rhino Toe, captured on film at his medal ceremony.

3.       On the other hand, I have a case of non-wedgie envy when it comes to the gymnasts. What are they using to keep those leos out of their butts while they’re flying to and fro across the floor mat or basically BEGGING the balance beam to give them a wedgie? For cripes’s sake. I get a wedgie just walking to the mailbox. WHAT’S YOUR SECRET, WIEBER?

4.       Speaking of the gymnasts. Why do they all hug each other like they have somewhere to be 10 minutes ago? They come off the floor, weakly put their arms around another girl’s barrel chest for approximately two seconds, all the while uncomfortably cutting their eyes far to the left like a panicked toy poodle who’s about to get put in the bathtub, and then they dash off hurriedly.

... only to stop two feet away and fiddle with their gym bag or look at the scoreboard for an uncomfortably long time. I say, they forego hugs in Rio 2016 and just convert to high fives. We’ll all sleep better at night.

5.       This one isn’t my own uncomfortable truth, but Grayson’s. We were watching the women's swimming events the other night when he asked thoughtfully, “Does swimming make you ugly?” My answer was, "Lochte isn't ugly."

1 comment:

megan said...

I love your blog for the simple fact that I never know what I am going to get. And that you say things that EVERYONE else is thinking, just a little too afraid to say.

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