Jul 13, 2012

Slices of Life, Vol. 41

Jake has rediscovered the drawers in the den that hold all of our cheap costumes. For the record, I prefer Star Wars costumes to superheroes, because Star Wars characters tend to knock over less stuff. (I've lost at least three lamps and a glass bowl to their superhero antics in the den.) While swooping into the room at top speed dressed as SuperMan:

Jake: "HEAH COMES SUPAH-MAN! HOLD ONTO YOUR LAMPS, PEOPLE!"


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After 30 minutes sitting by Nick's side as he threw up in the bathroom with the stomach bug, I finally had to start taking notes on my phone. A few of the gems he dropped between bouts:

  • "I feel like I'm gonna throw up, I don't want to, I don't want to. I'M ALLERGIC TO THROW UP."
  • "Ohno-ohno-ohno-ohno, I'VE GOT HOT DOG IN MY NOSE. GET IT OUT. GET IT OUT."
  • "You're better at this than Daddy."  (Me: "Better at what?")  "Helping me throw up."
  • "I don't like my life when I throw up."
  • "First I feel bad, then I toot, then I throw up. That's the life cycle of throwin' up."
  • "What's the whole point of dancing, anyway?"
  • "I hate when I throw up twice within 50 days."
 


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

While eating at a Chinese restaurant, Nick was excited to get the fortune cookies at the end of the meal, although he prefaced opening his with this statement:

"Sometimes the fortune in the cookie isn't really a fortune ... it's just like, WHO CARES?"


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was watching a show on Bravo recently when Jake wandered down around 10:00 for his nightly last-hug-and-kiss with Amelia. If you don't watch much on Bravo, you need to know that they are a little more liberal with cursing ... they don't bleep all the bad words like the non-cable networks do. As he walked in:

TV character: "She's such a bitch. And she's also stupid."

Jake: [freezes in his tracks]  "MOMMY. We don't say that. That's a bad word."

Me: "I know, buddy. That person was wrong to say that."

Jake: "WE DON'T SAY 'STUPID'."


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

While riding in the car:

Nick: "I didn't know my Granny, or my great-grandmommy or great-granddaddy. Will I see them in heaven?"

Me: "Yes, if people believed in Jesus, you'll see them there."

Nick: "What else will be in heaven? Will there be other things I like there?"

Me: "Yes, all the people you love who know Jesus and all the things you like will be there. It will be a glorious place."

Nick: "Will there be ice cream, in the form of a buffet?"


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After seeing my summery new toenail polish (bright green), Jake asked me to paint his the same color:

Me: "I'd be happy to!"

Jake: "But wait. Will it make my toenails taste bad?"

Me: "Uh ... yes. But toenails ALWAYS taste bad."

Jake: "Not mine. Sometimes, like when I just get out of the bathtub, they taste TASTY!"


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

During karate class, the sensei always asks the kids cultural questions about Japan, as well as Japanese vocabulary, which they are required to learn as part of their training.

Sensei: "Nicholas, what is the official name of the Japanese flag?"

Nick: "The red dot."

[Actual answer: "Nisshoki," or "Circle of the Sun" in English. So, you know, he was close.]


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After karate that same night, we were sending Nick and Nathaniel up to take their showers, and Jake was desperate to take a bath, too. But it was already after bedtime, so we told him he couldn't.

Jake: "But I want to take a bath!"

Me: "Jake, it's already after 8:00, honey. We need to just get your PJs on and for you to go to bed."

Jake: "BUT I WANT A BATH. I REALLY, REALLY WANT TO TAKE A BATH."

Me: "It's too late, buddy. Not tonight."

Jake: "But can I take one this WEEK?"

Me: "Yes, of course you'll get one this week. Just not tonight. Maybe tomorrow night."

Jake: "GOOD. FINALLY!"


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nathaniel and Nick were discussing the fact that they were finally in their last week of school:

Nick: "I can't BELIEVE I survived first grade."

Nathaniel: "Why?"

Nick: "Because, I mean, it's so much like Survivor."

Me: "How was first grade like Survivor, exactly?"

Nick: "BECAUSE I HAD TO WORK REALLY HARD AND I WAS STARVING ALL THE TIME."

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...