Mar 5, 2012

Things people say ... vol. 7

Yesterday Will Arnett (@ArnettWill) Tweeted: "I'm hard pressed to think of a single situation from which wild horses couldn't drag me away." And he is so right.

There are some phrases that just need to be laid to rest. I think we can all agree that we can get rid of:
 
It’s nothing to sneeze at.
If I see something of little consequence, such as two pennies on the ground, I don’t sneeze at them. Who does that?
 
You can’t kill two birds with one stone.
First of all, I think it depends on how big the stone is. And perhaps how small the birds are. But second, there are PLENTY of circumstances under which you can accomplish two goals with one action, such as picking up apples AND cottonballs while you’re at Wal-Mart. This phrase is ridiculous. Cease and desist.
 
It’s raining cats and dogs.
Does you really need me to debunk this one? Let’s get real: Everyone knows if you even drop a PENNY off the Empire State Building and it lands on someone’s head, they die. So if it actually rained cats and dogs, we’d all be pounded 12 feet into the ground. And deader.
 
I know it like the back of my hand.
Look. You put the back of my hand in a lineup of the backs of 100 hands, and I MIGHT be able to identify it. Maybe. But the phrase should really be more like, “I know it like the mole on my arm.” Because I inspect that much more closely and regularly than the back of my hand. Asymmetry. Uneven in color. Bigger than a pencil eraser. MELANOMA, PEOPLE. Get with the program.
 
Conversely, there are a couple of phrases with which I’m completely on board:
 
Don’t cry over spilt milk.
This is SO valid. Don’t stand there and cry. CLEAN IT UP ALREADY.
 
That’s water under the bridge.
You’re darn tootin’. LET’S MOVE ON.

6 comments:

Angie said...

Ha Ha...love it

Lacy said...

Is that penny thing really true???

Amanda said...

I think we might be related somehow because I feel the same way about so many of those!! Ha!

stollison said...

I HATE the phrase, "six of one, half a dozen of the other." I'd just rather people say, "same thing."

Sewconsult said...

My dad had a saying from his neck of the woods... another Southern phrase... when asked, "How are you?", the common reply was "fair to middlin'". I once said that when I was working on a college campus (in the 90's) and a visiting parent showed great shock. It seems that his own father use to say the same. He, too, was from the same 'neck of the woods' and had never heard it said by anyone other than his father.

I bet we southerners have more dumb sayings than the rest of the world!
Beckie

Rachel said...

That failbook is FABULOUS. I need to go get a tattoo now...

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