Nov 2, 2010

Things people say ... vol. 4

I know there are some people who get mildly offended by these posts, and to those people, I apologize in advance. Honestly, I am not a snooty person and I try to love everyone well. Except the unlovable. But seriously, I am by no means infallible and make spelling and grammar mistakes often; I try to correct the ones I find, but I'm not always successful. Many thanks to those of you (mainly my sister) who point them out so I can fix them!

But back to my point. There are a NUMBER of you out there who really love these posts, who -- in fact -- seem to live for them. Erin S., I'm talking to you. (Everyone. Allow me to share with you that when Erin recently delivered her twins, one of her nurses called her "Urine." I. DIE.)

Anyway, since "Urine" recently requested another installment in the series, I thought I'd scrape the corners of my brain and try to come up with a few for you guys today. This was especially timely since Blogger wouldn't allow me to upload any photos last night. KISMET!

So without further ado, I am expecially proud to bring you this edition of "Things People Say That Make Me Want to Hurt Them" today. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT SENTENCE? If you don't know, then you're part of the problem. (I said I wasn't snooty. I didn't say I'm not snarky.)

You have NO IDEA how hard it was for me to contain snorts of laughter following this conversation at work recently:
Him: "You need to add an 'az-riz' there and then make a note at the bottom of the page."
Me: "What?"
Him: "Add an 'az-riz' next to that sentence at the bottom."
Me: [pause, then unintentionally blurt] "OH! AN ASTERISK!"
Seriously. I almost suffocated.

Someone recently told me that they were "inyundated" with feedback about an idea. Yikes! That sounds painful.

I've already forgotten who asked me to include this one, but -- case and point -- I have a terrible memory. Get it? "Case in point"?

When speaking of the car or the animal, it's not "jag-wire," "jag-u-ah," or "jag-u-are." It's just "jag-wahr." And if you can't get it right, I'd suggest just saying "jag."

I think I've mentioned this one before, but it's not correct to say, "Come over to Grayson and eyes' house." Some people try to get closer -- and succeed -- with eyes' second cousin mize. "Come over to Grayson and mize house." Let's just take it One More Step and say it correctly next time: "Come over to Grayson's and my house."

This next one I call The Bachelor Effect. And if you watch the show, you'll understand why: "Her and I really have a lot in common." I'm sure YOU AND SHE do have a lot in common. But not if she uses good grammar.

And last but not least, I wanted to share with you this video that Patrice sent me. (She knows my love of the grammar, you see.) Please enjoy.




"Whachawdano." ** SNORT! **

And I may have recommended her before, but if you don't already have Grammar Girl bookmarked for quick reference, you really should! Then you can go forth, read, write and be critical of total strangers with confidence.

To read more "Things people say ...," click here!

7 comments:

{april kennedy} said...

Yes! You are on my sidebar...I'm loving your blog.

steph said...

Great video!

We have a girl in our office that mixes up phrases. "I have a photogenic memory" is a classic.

Shelby Baker said...

I love, love, love(!!!) the video. I laughed harder than I have in forever! Thanks :)

Rachel said...

That's hilarious! I greatLY enjoyed it. :)

Wade's World said...

That was great!!! I've had a cashier at Captain D's ask me if I wanted a side of "scrimp" with my food.

I was thinking, "Who are you, Bubba Gump?"

Erin S said...

Bwahahahahaha! Brilliant!

Did I ever tell you about the time I typed a customer letter about needing to get something from the WAREHOUSE, but the auto spellcheck changed it to WHOREHOUSE? And I didn't catch it?

Because, yes, I do get my supplies from brothels.

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

"Photogenic memory" ... ha! Love it.

"Scrimp" ... that's like my friend's mom who says "srimp"! Too much.

Erin, OH MY WORD. That's terrible. Almost as bad as when my friend in internal communications sent out a memo with "pubic" instead of "public." GAH.

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