Jonah's doing great!

Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and prayers for Jonah!

The doctors were going to discharge him today, but Patrice wasn't quiiiiite ready for that, so they're staying one more night. But he's a total champ and they'll be home tomorrow.

(See the g-tube?) You can read continued updates here, in blog posts and in Patrice's right sidebar where her Tweets appear.

Thanks again!

How to write a heartfelt thank-you note

Writing thank-you notes has always been one of my "specialties." I wouldn't say that there are more than two or three things that I do REALLY well, as in better than most other people, but writing genuine thank-you notes is something I've always put a lot of effort into and that people have always seemed to appreciate about me.

Many people writing a thank-you note start with a greeting, dash off two sentences of awkward thanks, and then finish with a closing. THAT, my friends, does not a fantastic thank-you note make! THAT is the kind of thank-you note that the gift-giver knows was written out of obligation and in haste.

I bring to you today some good news: it is NOT HARD to write a great thank-you note! Here is my best -- and really ONLY -- tip: Write it as if you were talking to the gift-giver at the moment you opened the gift. Your own voice and your true emotions will shine through and mean so much more than trite expressions of generic thanks ever would! And even if you don't absolutely love the gift, there are still ways to thank someone adequately without fibbing.

Let's look at some examples ...


Something You Love

Lisa,

Thank you so much for the Creative Memories gift card! We've been on a new budget and I've cut way back on things like scrapbooking materials, and I'd thought I wouldn't be able to get those new green and purple papers until my birthday. I can't wait to call Laura and order them! Cropping with you and Honor is one of my favorite things in the world, and you know how much I like to have all the supplies I could possibly need right at my fingertips -- and now I can order everything I need for the next crop! Thanks again so much for thinking of "just the right thing."

Love,
Katherine

(I wouldn't have been that formal with her in person, but those are the same thoughts I would have conveyed in a more casual tone had we been together.)


Something You Don't Just Love

Jane,

Thank you so much for the beautiful turquoise rooster lamp you had delivered for my birthday! I am a firm believer that every room in a home needs a pop of color, and this shade of turquoise has special significance because it reminds me of the color of the water in Hawaii, where we celebrated our 10th anniversary. I haven't decided which room it will look best in yet ... but since none of our rooms have particularly good natural light OR overheard lighting, it will serve as much-needed task lighting in almost any room in the house. You were so thoughtful to remember me on my special day!

Love,
Katherine


Something You Already Own

John,

Thank you so much for the fantastic grill tool set you gave us for hosting your going-away party! You may have noticed as Grayson flipped burgers that our existing set is definitely looking a little worse for the wear ... I'd been thinking about shopping for a new set, but I hadn't made it a priority. Now I don't have to! We're gearing up for a long season of grilling -- which is one of our favorite things to do, and we do it several times a week in the Spring and Summer -- so we will get a lot of use out of this new set beginning immediately! Thanks again so much for thinking of us and making the effort to choose such a practical, much-needed gift for our entire family.

Love,
Katherine



Something You Didn't Want Your Kids to Have

Emma,

Thank you so much for the Play-Dough/Moon Sand/Water Gun/ combo set! You have no idea how excited the boys are to have so many new things to play with! I've seen the ads on Disney and Cartoon Network for this particular set, due in large part to the fact that Nathaniel usually pauses the TV when they come on, comes and gets me and says, "MOMMY. WE REALLY WANT THIS. Please put it on my Wish List." So you can tell that it was really important to them! I look forward to setting them up on the deck with all their new toys and supervising as they play with all of the components, because I'm sure they'll be entertained for hours. Hey! Maybe I'll even get a few pages of a book read while they play.  ;)  Thanks again so much for thinking of them!

Love,
Katherine


I'm not saying that these are my best efforts or anything ... clearly it's easier to write when they're real gifts and I take a few minutes to think about how I can personalize each note to the giver, if possible. But my point is that it doesn't take much more effort to tell someone how you plan to use the gift and/or how much you'll enjoy it than it does to just say thanks and you hope to see them again soon.

With Jake's birthday just recently and my birthday coming up, I'll have used quite a few stamps by the time June arrives. But I love letting people know how much their gifts mean to us, and I hope that this post will help you in some small way as you write your next note to a friend!

Embrace the crazy. I have.

There are a few things that I thought were Global Rules, but apparently some people are just living wrong. Please allow me to clarify so that WE CAN ALL LIVE RIGHT:

1. It's not "taking care of your crayons" if you don't store them in ascending rainbow order in the box.

Correct:



Incorrect:




2. The dirty dishes look better if they're organized in the sink while waiting on the dishes in the dishwasher to finish running so they can be loaded. Like so:

 

3. When you know you're about to meet someone for the first time, don't wear something completely out of character for you. I say this because I own one -- ONE -- shirt from Chico's that sort of looks like it's a leopard print, but it's not. It looks a lot like this one, but instead of blue, it's just a black and brown print:

But last week I met someone at work for the first time, and I was totally self-conscious because I stood there thinking, "She thinks I'm an animal-print person. She thinks I'm an animal-print person," the whole time. There's nothing WRONG with animal prints, but I just don't ever wear them and I obsessed over that first impression for the rest of the day.

I know. I don't make sense. 

Please pray for Jonah's procedure

Early tomorrow morning our great-nephew Jonah goes in to get his g-tube.

Photo courtesy of Patrice



Please pray that Matt and Patrice will feel total peace about the procedure, that the doctors will be extensions of God's hands on Jonah, that everything will go perfectly, and that Patrice's daily life at home with Jonah will be improved 100 times over once feeding is no longer an issue.

Most of us will never fully understand the difficulties they face each day with Jonah's care, and if there is anything that can make their life any easier, I'm all for it.

Go, Jonah, go! Love you, buddy.

Two!

Jakey,

It’s been more than a week since you turned 2, but I wanted to wait until the time seemed right to post your letter. Your birthday is such a wonderful thing to celebrate, but we've had some tough reminders of just how fleeting life is over the past week.

The beauty of being 2 is that you have no idea when things aren't going everyone else's way ... you're only aware when things aren't going YOUR way. And OH HOW AWARE YOU ARE when things aren't going your way. When I'm wiping your poopy bottom and you want to get down and play, you tell me firmly, "STOP." 

When Nathaniel is playing on the computer and you climb up behind him and he sets you back down so that you don't get in his way, you scream at the top of your lungs and come get me. Then, still puffed up and indignant, you lead me to him and point at him with your bottom lip poked out about an inch and say accusingly, "Bruddah." It is SO clear that he has wronged you, and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

When I take an empty -- EMPTY -- DVD case away from you to keep you from carrying it all over the house and losing it under a bed or a couch, you yell and yell with your little dimpled fists clenched at your sides. OH THE DRAMA. 

But as angry and indignant as you can be at times, you are equally sweet and loving. You LOVE to give hugs. You ask for kisses on all your boo-boos. You sit down on the couch beside me and press against me as close as you can, leaving not a centimeter between us. And when you then lean your head against my shoulder, I melt.

Thank you for being the perfect little brother, the one who keeps suppers interesting, who shows us who's boss on the trampoline. Thank you for demanding that we engage you and not parent lazily, for demanding that we fully experience life with you instead of just floating through it in a haze of baseball and homework and all the other minutia that threatens to overtake us every day.

You hold my heart, little man, right there in the palm of your hands. I love you more than life itself.

Love,
Mommy

Music as an escape

It seems like things in my life have been really pressure-filled lately. (Do I complain about it too much here? I can't keep track of where the complaining in my head stops and the complaining I do in public starts.)

At any rate, right now the two songs that help me escape from the pressures of the day the best are Miranda Lambert's "The House that Built Me" and Train's "Hey, Soul Sister." When one of those songs comes on the radio, I turn it up loud and sing like I'm in the band. Which -- since they're both new releases -- means that I sing about 12 percent of the lyrics with complete confidence and I outright fake at top volume the remaining 88 percent.

So aside from those two current favorites, my other most recently purchased songs on iTunes are (brace yourselves; it's an eclectic list):

Good is Good - Sheryl Crow
Chances - Five for Fighting
Glitter in the Air - Pink
Can Anybody Hear Me - Meredith Andrews
Father Figure - George Michael
Freedom - George Michael
I Don't Believe You - Pink
Terrified - Katharine McPhee
Hallelujah - The Canadian Tenors
Hero - Christopher Wilde
Smile - Uncle Kracker
The Weary Kind - Ryan Bingham
It's So Hard to Say Goodbye - Boys II Men
Hello - Glee Cast
When I Look at You - Miley Cyrus
American Honey - Lady Antebellum
Hell on the Heart - Eric Church
Unstoppable - Rascal Flatts
Breakeven - The Script
Brooklyn Blurs - The Paper Raincoat
Love Never Fails - Brandon Heath

Don't judge. I know Miley's not for everyone. And it's also not the '80s anymore, but I recently discovered that I didn't have any George Michael on any of my playlists, which I had to remedy.

I think I need to Google "1980s hits" and see what comes up. I feel as though my '80s selection is lacking. But then again, that might not be a bad thing. After all, Rick Astley was a product of the '80s.

What is your favorite song of all time? I might need to add it to my iPod.

Joy in the midst of sorrow

It's taken me over a week to be able to write about Jakey's 2nd birthday party.

It was scheduled for last Sunday, a mere 30 hours after we found out that my cousin Kyser had been shot. I debated and debated over whether or not to have it, but ultimately decided to go ahead with it. My parents had driven over for it, but they spent the day at Ben and Kathryn's house supporting them, and rightly so.

And I'm going to go ahead and recap the party here for posterity, but I just wanted to say first that profound grief has a strange effect on your perception of time. I find myself unable to believe that it's only been a week since Kyser died. It feels like a month. I can taste the bile rising in my throat even as I type that. The thought that someone has taken another person's life -- such a PROMISING young man's life -- and is still running around out there without a care in the world ... well, that's just repulsive. Absolutely repulsive.

But I suppose that's a post for another day, and this one is supposed to be all about Jakey and his buddy Buzz. So, here we go. Remember how about a month ago he interrupted us when we were talking about his birthday party and asked for a "Buh" cake?

Well, I SAW his Buzz cake, and I RAISED him some tacky Toy Story hanging decorations.

 Of course, in addition to my tacky lovely hanging decorations, I actually did ask our baker-friend Vickie to make him a Buzz cake. And she really outdid herself with this one!

The detailing was so amazing, and the colors so vivid.

She included the CLEFT IN HIS CHIN, for goodness sakes!

When Jakey saw it for the first time, he clapped and yelled, "BUZZ!" Because in the intervening month he's added the consonant on the end, and -- truth be told -- he's bestowed upon Buzz a nickname, as if they're old fraternity buddies: "Buzzy."

Of course, being old fraternity buddies doesn't mean that you can't stick a fork in the icing version of said buddy's face and dig right in.

No siree, Bob. You can do it, and you can LOVE it.

Repeatedly.

It would be rude of me to insinuate that Jakey was the only one who enjoyed the heck out of Buzzy.

As a matter of fact, ALL of us loved the cake as well as some terrifically delicious Peppermint Blue Bell ice cream on the side.

But most of the rest of us used spoons. Some people couldn't be bothered with such details.

After we'd decimated Buzzy, we headed out to the backyard for Jakey to open his gifts.

It only took a few minutes, but it was a lot of fun to see the wonder in his eyes as he realized that the wrapped gifts were all for him.

The whole thing lasted about an hour from start to finish, and it was more sweet than bitter ... but overall a little bittersweet. To be celebrating the life of one in the midst of our grief over the loss of another was a hard line to walk. I guess to a degree, Jake's birthdays may always feel that way to me. I was talking with Patrice in the middle of last week about how Jake's birthday has been synonymous with Gabe's death, since they were born just a few days apart. And now I imagine that I'll also always associate it with Kyser's death, which compounds my sadness as I sit here and ponder that.

But I also know that if we do a good job of raising him, he may turn out to be close to what the Lord molded Kyser to be. And in my mind, being given the chance to do that with our three boys is an immeasurable honor. I still can't believe that I've been entrusted with raising these three kids.

We are blessed.

Rain is good for something other than nourishing our lawn

Jakey and I've been home by ourselves all weekend while Grayson and the big boys are on a Cub Scout camping trip. (In tornado-warning weather, but that's another story.) Assuming they didn't get blown away, they'll be home in a few hours.

Jake and I have been having so much fun, since time for just the two of us is almost unheard of. Yesterday he spied a cantaloupe on the counter and asked me to cut it for him. (And by "asked me to cut it up for him," I mean that he grinned, pointed to it and said, "More.")

So while I was doing this:

... he opened the back door and surveyed the pouring rain.

He must have been confused by how bright the sky was, because he ran outside and just thought it was magnificent.

He bobbed his head and stomped his feet, dancing the afternoon away in the rain.

(I have REALLY got to consider moving the grill. I can't stand it that most of the pictures I take on our deck have that grill in the background.)

Every few minutes he'd run back inside to grin and make sure I was watching. But still working on the cantaloupe, because he also had to make sure that I wasn't sleeping on the job.

He loved, loved, loved darting in and out of the door to play in the rain.

I think he's convinced that we need a little pouring rain every day.

I'm a little sad that our quality time just Mommy and Jakey comes to an end this afternoon, but I miss the other boys so much! I can't wait to see their faces and hear all the stories about how their tent almost blew away. I'm hoping Grayson took notes.

He just turned 2 and he's already a fan of The Sauce

Jakey's never been willing to try Chick-fil-A Sauce, because ketchup was first love.

But last night, all of that changed.

He dipped his fry with care.

He tentatively tasted it.

And he chewed with vigor.

The verdict: IT'S GREAT!

There's a ride in that there ball

Here are the facts:

1. We went to Disney World in January.

2. We spent a day and a half at EPCOT.

3. We took lots of pictures of the big ball. Including some right in front of it.

4. Yesterday I saw a cake on Cake Wrecks that looked a lot like the big ball. They made a reference to the dummies who don't know there's a ride called Spaceship Earth in there.

5. I AM ONE OF THOSE DUMMIES.

2-year-old comparison

Jake, Apr. 2010

Nicholas, Oct. 2006

Nathaniel, Dec. 2004


More on Jakey's 2nd birthday soon ...

Goodbye, sweet Ky

I spent yesterday morning at Kathryn and Ben's house as we all prepared for Kyser's funeral. A lot of what I experienced in their house over the last several days is intensely personal, not just for me, but for many other members of my family, so that's why I haven't really gone into that here. But as people poured in the house yesterday, I was emotionally touched over and over, and over again.

Ky's employer, Chevron, chartered a bus and sent it up from Mobile full of Ky's co-workers. Vanderbilt sent a bus full of students, and about 100 of Kyser's SAE fraternity brothers caravanned down from Nashville, too. When those SAEs walked through the door of the house and, one by one, emotionally embraced Kathryn, I just lost it. The sight of all those boys in their navy blue blazers and crisp white shirts who traveled to say goodbye to a dear friend ... it simply did me in.

Kyser's funeral was a beautiful tribute to a full, albeit short, life. The church holds 700 people, and it was packed to the rafters, with people spilling out the doors. There were video monitors and speakers set up in adjoining rooms so that people who couldn't fit in the sanctuary could still experience the beauty of the service. As beautiful as it was, we would all have preferred that there'd been no need for it. Anything to have him back.

"Kyser's Little Brother," which Harry said he feels like is his legal moniker, gave an extremely moving speech about what it was like to grow up following in Kyser's footsteps. He said that his path was always so easy, because Kyser cut away all the underbrush in front of them as they made their way through life. My favorite moment was when he was recounting all of his and Kyser's shenanigans throughout the years, and he said, "It was almost like Kyser knew life was too short to frown, ever."

And as a parent I loved what the pastor said that Ben had mentioned to him ... "You know, Kathryn and I started out when the boys were little, telling them what to do. 'Do this.' ' Don't do that.' But now WE look to THEM." Isn't that our goal? To raise our boys to be admirable young men who stand on the strength of their convictions and do the right thing? I can only hope that our boys turn out as well as Kyser and Harry did.

In a true testament to just how far-reaching Kyser's influence was, you might have noticed in the obituary that Kathryn and Ben established a memorial fund at Kyser's high school alma mater. The school's board met night before last and called to tell them that they felt like the school has so many funds and scholarships, that they were concerned that Ky's might be lost in the shuffle.

Instead, they voted to establish a global ethical leadership center that will be named "The C. Kyser Miree Ethical Leadership Center." Its purpose will be to:

• Create more culturally aware students
• Develop curriculum to teach ethical leadership
• Offer an intern program for students with local professors and foundations
• Offer global/local leadership distinction upon graduation
• Design summer trips and classes open to the community for ethical studies

Under Goal Number One is a whole separate list of requirements that students who choose this path will have to satisfy. And upon graduation, if they've done so, they'll receive a seal on their diploma indicating that they've completed the program. To say that our entire family is proud of this distinction would be an understatement ... we are honored and humbled that Altamont has chosen to groom other young people to follow in Kyser's footsteps as ambassadors of ethical conduct and living a life above reproach.

We are still fervently hoping for a break in the case, which for now seems to be moving slowly. CBS News picked up the story yesterday, and perhaps national exposure will help. I'd very much appreciate your continued prayers that there will be success in finding the culprit and bringing him to justice.

For today, I'm trying to be content with having met so many of the people who were instrumental in making Kyser the man he became, with spending time with the far-flung members of our family, with knowing that Kyser has experienced the beauty of Heaven and is just waiting for the rest of us to join him.

And just so you know how highly everyone also thinks of Little Brother Harry, one of the guests at the house last night said to him, "You know, I bet when Kyser got up to Heaven, he said, "Hey, Saint Peter ... it's me. Harry's Big Brother."

And I bet he did just that.

'Surreal' doesn't begin to cover it

For those who have asked, I wanted to share the information from Kyser's obituary in case you didn't click through yesterday to read it. He was a beautiful soul, and a few friends have asked if they can honor him by contributing to his memorial fund at his high school alma mater ... and yes, our family would be greatly humbled by that. From the Birmingham News:

MIREE, CHRISTOPHER KYSER (KYSER) Christopher Kyser Miree (Kyser), was born December 2, 1986 and died April 17, 2010. Kyser was born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama, attended Advent Day School, graduated from The Altamont School, and graduated Magna cum Laude with a B.S. in Mechanical Engineering from Vanderbilt University. At The Altamont School, Kyser played varsity baseball and ran varsity cross country, served as Senior Class President, and was active in many student organizations. At Vanderbilt, Kyser served as President of Pi Tau Sigma (Mechanical Engineering Honor Society), Vice President of Vanderbilt Aerospace Club, and as President of Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity. Following graduation, he moved to Mobile, Alabama and took a job with Chevron Corporation. He was a member of Independent Presbyterian Church. Kyser was an avid hunter of turkey, duck, pheasant, dove, and quail and loved to hike, ski, fish and take on all outdoor challenges. He was a leader, he was a great friend and brought great joy into the lives of his family and everyone he met. Kyser shared a special relationship with his brother stemming originally from the precociousness of six year olds drawing momentous conclusions from small events, and growing to the shared dreams of two gifted, ambitious young men planning their own families and careers. You could see in Kyser elements of his mother and his father, as if he took only the best from each. Then, as he spread his wings to fly, he would not simply follow but would go farther and higher than either. Kyser was preceded in death by his grandparents, Royal Richardson Miree, Sarah Kyser Miree, and Joy Purifoy Waller. Survivors include his parents, Benjamin Kyser and Kathryn Waller Miree; his brother, Harrison Moore Miree; his grandfather, Bogue Maultsby Waller; aunts and uncles, Royal Richardson Miree, Jr., Sarah Belle Miree Tollison (Fred), Virginia Waller Clark, Louise Waller Blanchard (Bill), Bogue Maultsby Waller, Jr. (Cyndy); and numerous nieces, nephews, and friends. The memorial service will be held Tuesday, April 20 at 3 p.m. at Independent Presbyterian Church. The family will receive friends afterwards in the Independent Presbyterian Church parlor. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorials be made to The Kyser Miree Leadership Fund at The Altamont School or your favorite charity.

Today we will be celebrating Kyser's life and mourning our loss. I am sad not only for those of us who knew and loved him, but also for those who would have come to know and love him in the future if given the chance. I have no doubt that he would have influenced untold numbers of people if he'd been given the many years here he deserved.

The Mobile police finally acknowledged yesterday that they're beginning an investigation into his death. I can definitely file the discovery of the article online in the "Breaking News > Crime" section of the Mobile Press-Register as one of the saddest moments of my life. Once again, something I never thought I'd see in reference to someone I loved. 

I greatly appreciate the continued thoughts and prayers for our family today, and please pray that the police will be given discernment and wisdom and will treat Ben, Kathryn and Harry with respect during the investigation -- which hopefully will culminate in the arrest and conviction of the guilty party.

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose

I am taking a very brief recess from heartbreak to tell you that this is exactly how I feel about Friday Night Lights, down to the very last word.

It is also how YOU should feel about Friday Night Lights. So if you haven't seen it, GET RIGHT ON THAT. It is the antidote to what ails you, the yin to your yang, the period on the sentence that is you. AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT, DID YOU?

The fourth season starts in less than a month, and they're already filming season five, which is rumored to be its last. [sniff]

Please do not let another day go by without inviting Eric and Tami Taylor into your life. You will not regret it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go pray over all the residents of Dillon, Texas, because they are Like Real People.

Trying to make sense of the senseless

Is it really only Monday?

The last 48 hours feel like at least twice that long. Therefore, I make no promises that this post will have a defined beginning, middle and end, nor that it will be coherent.

Saturday morning my parents called to let me know that one of my first cousins, Kyser, had been shot in his home and was on life support. Kyser, only 24 years old and about as nice a person as you'll ever meet, had been shot and was ON LIFE SUPPORT. I actually couldn't believe it.

I was 13 when Ky was born, and he was the first baby I really got to hold for any period of time. When I came to college in Birmingham five years later, I was lucky enough to get to babysit him and his younger brother Harrison regularly.

Kyser


Harry


After my freshman year in college, I lived at their house while I took classes in Summer School, and we got to do all sorts of things, including but not limited to playing endless hours of video games in their basement.

Harry and Kyser right after painting pottery in Hoover one day


When Grayson and I got married in 1995, Kyser was our program usher and Harrison our ring bearer.



Even after that, I still occasionally took him and Harry to do things around town and attended their ballgames, and being a part of their lives -- even in a small way -- was really rewarding for me.



Once Ky left for Vanderbilt, I saw less of him. We saw each other at the holidays (most recently Christmas 2009), and he had continued to stay the course, to be the fine young man that we all knew and loved.

Kathryn, Harry, Kyser, Ben


Which is why it was so beyond belief, so completely incomprehensible, that someone could have broken into his house on a Friday night and shot him in the back of the head. Even now, it takes my breath away.

Something that was unfathomable 48 hours ago is all of a sudden our new reality, and I won't lie to you and tell you that it's OK because it's all part of God's Plan. I am REALLY STRUGGLING with His Plan at the moment. What possible good can come of this? Ben and Kathryn (my aunt and uncle) terminated life support on Saturday morning around 10:00 and had planned to donate Kyser's organs, but the need for an autopsy made that impossible. The one thing they'd hoped to do that would give them some comfort in his death was a choice not available to them.

How will they recover from this? Can you ever heal from a loss of this magnitude?

When they moved him down to Mobile after he graduated from college, I'm sure that they worried about many things, the same kinds of things we all worry about as parents. He could be in a car accident. He could be in a plane crash. He could be diagnosed with a terminal illness.

But this, THIS is not one of the things you worry about happening to your kids, in general. How can you emotionally or mentally prepare yourself for violent crime to take away one of your children? It's so far out of my frame of reference that I can't begin to process it, even several days later.

All day yesterday, I tried to keep things "normal" for my kids. The only departure from Normal was that I sat Nathaniel and Nicholas down after lunch and explained to them what had happened, and I asked them to not play with toy guns for the next several days out of respect for our family and for me in particular. (I've never liked them playing the shoot-em-up games, but I've never been able to break them of it, either.) They somberly agreed.

We had Jake's birthday party planned for 1:30, and I wanted to have it. Quite frankly, I NEEDED a diversion from my other thoughts, and we'd only invited two families, so the guest list was short. The party was brief and sweet, yet tinged with sadness.

Ironically, even though I'd just hosted the birthday party, as I drove over to Kathryn and Ben's house in the late afternoon, I was completely offended by everyone ELSE in the world going about their lives like normal. I remember feeling the same way when Jake was in the hospital and the ICU windows looked out over a McDonald's. "How DARE you be getting a Quarter Pounder right now? MY CHILD IS IN THE HOSPITAL."

Yesterday I was also completely irrational about it. "How can you pump gas so nonchalantly? MY COUSIN WAS SHOT AND KILLED."

"You're seriously going into Stein Mart? Have you not HEARD? MY COUSIN JUST DIED."

"PW is still posting pictures in her macro photo contest? That is so insensitive. OUR KYSER IS GONE."

And when Krista Vernoff was still Tweeting answers to people's Grey's Anatomy questions last night, I really about lost it. Apparently I have completely lost all perspective when it comes to other people's lives moving on in the wake of tragedy in my own personal life.

Harry, me, Ky


And there's been another shift in my thoughts that I didn't anticipate, but which I shared with Harry yesterday (because I don't have to filter with him) ... I've never really known where I stand on the death penalty. But all of a sudden, I'm pretty sure I'm For it.

Baseball, blah, blah, blah

** Edited to add: Jonah is fine. Sorry to anyone who thought something had happened to Jonah. I will try to post some more information about our situation tomorrow, but Jonah is doing well this weekend. **

I thought our weekend was going to be all about this



for both of our older boys



with their little brother tagging along, as usual.



As it turned out, there was an unspeakable tragedy within our extended family in the wee hours of Saturday morning, and all I can think about is how sad it is, and how much I love these guys



and this guy



and how blessed we are to have and hold them.

Today, hug your children tightly. Today, when your temper is short, take a deep breath and count to three. Count to 30 if that's what it takes. Today, ignore the Cheerios on the floor and the Tinkertoys in the couch cushions.

Today, don't get mad about the scratches on the DVD that make it unplayable. Today, leave the laundry unfolded and build a fort in the den. Today, get outside in the sunshine. If it's raining, go play in the rain. Tonight, postpone bedtime by 20 minutes and read an extra book out loud.

I'm talking to myself as much as I'm talking to any of you. Today is what you have with your kids, and tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Today, love well.