Feb 19, 2009

You want fries with that?

I just finished a book that Grayson bought me for Christmas after seeing it featured on BookTV. The mere fact that he thought ANY book featured on C-SPAN would pique my interest is blog-worthy in itself, but the book turned out to be really entertaining.

In a nutshell, the author was a creative director at an ad agency, making The Big Bucks, when he decided to quit and see how the other half lives. In the book, he chronicles his adventures as a construction worker, fast food jockey, pizza delivery man, ice cream scooper and a few other choice positions.

One of the funniest sections of the book speaks to how his wife handled this decision of his ... which I think I found so hilarious because -- while his change in employment status was voluntary and Grayson's was not -- I am currently enjoying the position in which she found herself when her husband up and quit his high-paying job.

Most days I leave Grayson a list of things I'd like done when he's taking a break from job-hunting on the Internet. It always includes laundry and dishes, and occasionally it includes something like "get the oil changed in the minivan" or "take out the recycling." I never add "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" to the tail end of each of the tasks on the list, because I am such a nice wife.

And if there was any doubt among you that a task that wasn't specifically listed on the paper would get done anyway, allow me to explain: Tasks that are not on the list do not get accomplished. A task's absence from the list indicates to the Taskee that there are, indeed, no tasks to be performed that day, even if laundry is overflowing from the baskets, trash is pouring out of the trashcans, and the only item in the fridge is a pack of cheese sticks from December. Of '07.

Anyway, this is a post about a book, not about my life. SO, here's a small taste of why I found this book so satisfying this week:

If you are not working and your wife is, there is a real discrepancy between her view of a productive day and yours. For instance, if she returns after a hump-busting ten-hour grind and asks what you did with your day, answering, "I shaved," is not sufficient. Nor, apparently, is it funny.

I was just happy to have time on my hands and thus the opportunity to do the items on the Honey-do list my wife would leave every day when she -- Okay, that's a lie. The Honey-do list broke me. Within a month, ANYTHING (except my old job) was preferable to the Honey-do list.

You see, here too, women's minds are very different from men's. While we men turn our brains off for extended periods of time, a woman's mind is always working ... and if a woman's husband is sitting around during the day and counts shaving on his list of accomplishments, the woman can simply use the man's hands to do the things she'd do if she had the time.

Here's a brief list of the projects the average woman would like done:

a) Tear down the home.

b) Rebuild it much, much better.

c) Take out the garbage.

d) Walk the dogs.

Bravo! I love it. Plus, that makes MY lists seem easy-breezy.

The book is written in easily digestible chunks, perfect for visits to the doctor's office, your lunch break, 10 minutes of reading to make you sleepy before bed ... and it's really witty. Thanks, Grayson, for such a fun book!

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