I was going back through my Drafts folder last night and found these Slices. They're 18 months old, and I can't believe I never published them. I think it was because that was around the time my iPhoto quit working, and I kept thinking that once I got access to my pictures, I'd post this with images. Well, that still hasn't happened.
So I'm sharing these with you anyway. Jake would have been in the middle of 2nd grade (age 7-and-a-half), Amelia would have been about 4 and Nick, 10.
FYI, I've decided to start fresh with iPhoto and just loaded the past year or so of pictures from my phone into it over the weekend. I also loaded our pictures from Costa Rica, so more posts will be coming. Not daily, but hopefully about once a week. I've missed it.
While going through a bunch of random papers after we moved, I found a stapled set letting us know that Nick had been selected as the Star Student of the Week. Last December 4 [2014].
We were to have sent photos of him to be displayed in the classroom, gone to have lunch with him at a special table in the cafeteria, and written a letter about all the things we love about him that his teacher would have read to the class, among other things.
Me: "Nick! I can't believe I'm just now finding this! Why didn't you give it to me when you were selected as Student of the Week? I feel terrible that we missed out on doing all of this for you."
Nick: "You didn't. I told you about it back then."
Me: "I don't remember that at all! I don't think I sent pictures, and I only remember coming to eat lunch with you on your birthday, not for this. And I don't remember writing a letter about all the things we love about you, either."
Nick: "You did. IT WAS A SHORT NOTE."
* * * * * * *
While going over Jake's spelling words one evening:
Grayson: "Okay, Jake, spell 'bandana.' "
Jake: "B-A-N-"
Amelia: "D."
All of us: [blink blink]
* * * * * * *
We were eating supper at Texas Roadhouse, where they have TVs above some of the tables. America's Funniest Videos was on while we were waiting for our entrees to arrive. One video was of a girl about 6 or 7 years old sobbing with happiness and hugging her toddler brother, who had just taken his first steps.
On the video, the man taking the video asked, "Why are you crying, sweetie?" And she sobbed, "I'M JUST SO PROUD OF HIM FOR TAKING HIS FIRST STEPS!"
Jake: "Mommy. Did you see that?"
Me: "The video of the little girl crying because she was so proud of her baby brother? Yes. So sweet."
Jake: "Or. OR, they're in the Guinness Book of World Wecords for being the youngest married couple ever, and she was so pwoud because that was her SON taking his first steps."
Me: "Hmm. That's pretty unlikely, buddy."
Jake: "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, not ALL 6- and 7-year-olds are weddy for wo-mance like I am."
Me: [raising my eyebrows]
Jake: "Do you want to know how I know I'm weddy for wo-mance?"
Me: "I can't WAIT to know."
Jake: "I don't woll my eyes at wo-mantic scenes in movies anymore."
* * * * * * *
And just a few weeks later, I was folding clothes in the den while Jake was watching TV.
Jake: "Quite fwankly, I can't believe they show this kind of wo-mantic content on Nickelodeon."
Me: "What?"
Jake: "That young couple just kissed. I mean, I'M not bothered by it, but a lot of kids might be. I wemember when we were at the beach, we were watching a show one day and Gwant said, 'EVWYYBODY CLOSE YOUR EYES.' And evwybody did, except me. I mean, the people only KISSED. But even Gwant and Nathaniel didn't want to see it. I don't know. Kids just aren't weddy for wo-mance."
* * * * * * *
I was putting a barrette in Amelia's hair one recent afternoon:
Me: "Aww. You look so precious."
Amelia: "I DON'T LOOK PWESH-US."
Me: "Okay, well, you look cute."
Amelia: "I DON'T LOOK CUTE."
Me: "Well, what CAN I call you if I can't call you precious or cute?"
Amelia: "Bootiful."
Oh Lord. We're in for it.
* * * * * * *
We were out to supper at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and the waiter came to the table to take our drink orders. Amelia and Jake were sitting on the same side of the booth with me. I ordered my drink, then looked at Amelia.
Amelia: "I WANT SPWITE. Wait." [To Jake.] "JAKE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DWINK?"
Jake: "Spwite."
Amelia: [To the waiter] "WE'LL BOTH HAVE SPWITE."
* * * * * * *
Going over Jake's spelling words with him one night, we were asking him to spell each word and use each in a sentence.
Grayson: "Ammunition."
Jake: "A-M-M-U-N-I-T-I-O-N."
Grayson: "Good. Now, use it in a sentence."
Jake: "You have a lot of ammunition. CAN I HAVE SOME OF IT?"
* * * * * * *
Amelia: "My teacher Miss Gwace is getting mawwied!"
Me: "She is? That's exciting! To whom?"
Amelia: [pause] "To a PWINCE!"
Me: "Really?! To a prince? That's even MORE exciting."
Amelia: "I know!" [sigh] "I can't WAIT to see their fuhst dance."
* * * * * * *
Today at lunch on the way to the beach, a friend we were eating with asked Jake if he passed first grade.
Jake: "Yes, actuwy, I was one of the smahtest kids in my class."
Grayson: "ONE of the smartest?"
Jake: "Yes, technicwy the second smahtest."
Grayson: "How do you know that?"
Jake: "I tested evwybody."
* * * * * * *
The kids watched the movie Home on a recent trip. When it was over:
Me: Did you like the movie?
Jake: I really DID. It almost made me CWY. [wipes tears from both of his eyes] THAT WAS MY FUHST WEAL TEARJERKUH."
Jun 19, 2017
Jun 1, 2017
Is 'Boss Baby' rated R?
Amelia
and Jake have been wanting to see Boss Baby for a while and the
opportunity came up to see it over Memorial Day weekend.
I use the word "opportunity" loosely here.
Grayson and Nathaniel were on a scuba diving trip to the Florida Keys, so I took Nick, Jake and Amelia to the theater on Sunday for a "cheap" matinee showing. $40 in tickets and $50 in snacks and drinks later, we were in our seats and the trailers were beginning.
First up was Transformers: The Last Knight, and then Wonder Woman. Next up was Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I turned to Nick and said, "These trailers all seem a little mature for the little kids who're here for Boss Baby. You think?" He nodded.
Then again, I hadn't actually WATCHED the trailer for Boss Baby, so ...
But then the trailer for Cars 3 started, and I breathed a sigh of relief. And after that, Spider-Man: Homecoming -- which, while still not what I'd call a film for the toddler and preschool set, it was definitely preferable to what came next: THE MUMMY.
INTERNET. Some serious STUFF goes down in that trailer. I looked over at Nick and I said, "THIS IS RIDICULOUS. This is COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE for 4- and 5-year-olds!" Nick had his ears plugged with his fingers and he was looking down at his lap. He couldn't even look at the screen. I could hear small children whimpering and a couple even crying elsewhere in the theater.
I looked over to my left at Jake and Amelia and said, "Hey! Guys, DON'T LOOK AT THIS. It's WAY too scary. I'm not even looking at it!" Guess who wouldn't take their eyes off it it. Yeah, eyes wide as saucers and glued to the giant screen, Amelia said to me, "I'M NOT SCAWED AT AWE. THIS ISN'T SCAWY, MOMMY. ISS FINE."
Finally, BY THE GRACE OF GOD the Disney logo came up on the screen. But Cinderella's castle was black, and thunder and lightning were going on behind the castle. For the last time, I again looked at Nick: "WHY is it thundering and lightning behind Cinderella's castle? Is Boss Baby a scary movie? Did I bring you to a movie about some kind of demented baby who literally tortures a family in their basement? WHAT. IS. HAPPENING."
Nick shrugged. To my left, Amelia was applauding the thunder and lightning behind Cinderella's castle. (Special effects!)
As if in slow motion, the movie started. And it was not animated. As it turned out, the little boy on the screen was a young Jack Sparrow.
WE HAD JUST SAT THROUGH 20 MINUTES OF TRAILERS FOR PG, PG-13 AND NOT-YET-RATED FILMS. No wonder my Spidey Senses were on high alert.
At this point, about 10 parents got up from their seats and sprinted out of the theater, presumably to stop the madness. Meanwhile, onscreen, Jack Sparrow was telling his dad that he was going to go on this voyage whether he liked it or not. Even if his dad threw him overboard, he'd still find a way to go. [Insert rough seas, creepy men and lots of yelling. Now real-life theater kids were crying again.]
I looked over at Jake and Amelia (no worries about Nick, whose eyes were firmly fixed on the upper-right corner of the theater ceiling) and told them to just look at me, that this would all be taken care of in a minute. They paid me absolutely zero attention. Amelia, eyes still on the screen, said, "I WIKE THIS WRONG MOVIE."
I looked back up at the screen just in time to see little Jack Sparrow sinking to the bottom of the ocean. I guess his dad took him up on his offer and threw him overboard? I'LL NEVER KNOW. Before it could get any worse, they finally cut the feed and got Boss Baby started for us.
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, CARMIKE CINEMAS, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.
So what's the over-under on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead showing up on Amelia's Amazon Wishlist before her 6th birthday in September?
I use the word "opportunity" loosely here.
Grayson and Nathaniel were on a scuba diving trip to the Florida Keys, so I took Nick, Jake and Amelia to the theater on Sunday for a "cheap" matinee showing. $40 in tickets and $50 in snacks and drinks later, we were in our seats and the trailers were beginning.
First up was Transformers: The Last Knight, and then Wonder Woman. Next up was Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I turned to Nick and said, "These trailers all seem a little mature for the little kids who're here for Boss Baby. You think?" He nodded.
Then again, I hadn't actually WATCHED the trailer for Boss Baby, so ...
But then the trailer for Cars 3 started, and I breathed a sigh of relief. And after that, Spider-Man: Homecoming -- which, while still not what I'd call a film for the toddler and preschool set, it was definitely preferable to what came next: THE MUMMY.
INTERNET. Some serious STUFF goes down in that trailer. I looked over at Nick and I said, "THIS IS RIDICULOUS. This is COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE for 4- and 5-year-olds!" Nick had his ears plugged with his fingers and he was looking down at his lap. He couldn't even look at the screen. I could hear small children whimpering and a couple even crying elsewhere in the theater.
I looked over to my left at Jake and Amelia and said, "Hey! Guys, DON'T LOOK AT THIS. It's WAY too scary. I'm not even looking at it!" Guess who wouldn't take their eyes off it it. Yeah, eyes wide as saucers and glued to the giant screen, Amelia said to me, "I'M NOT SCAWED AT AWE. THIS ISN'T SCAWY, MOMMY. ISS FINE."
Finally, BY THE GRACE OF GOD the Disney logo came up on the screen. But Cinderella's castle was black, and thunder and lightning were going on behind the castle. For the last time, I again looked at Nick: "WHY is it thundering and lightning behind Cinderella's castle? Is Boss Baby a scary movie? Did I bring you to a movie about some kind of demented baby who literally tortures a family in their basement? WHAT. IS. HAPPENING."
Nick shrugged. To my left, Amelia was applauding the thunder and lightning behind Cinderella's castle. (Special effects!)
As if in slow motion, the movie started. And it was not animated. As it turned out, the little boy on the screen was a young Jack Sparrow.
WE HAD JUST SAT THROUGH 20 MINUTES OF TRAILERS FOR PG, PG-13 AND NOT-YET-RATED FILMS. No wonder my Spidey Senses were on high alert.
At this point, about 10 parents got up from their seats and sprinted out of the theater, presumably to stop the madness. Meanwhile, onscreen, Jack Sparrow was telling his dad that he was going to go on this voyage whether he liked it or not. Even if his dad threw him overboard, he'd still find a way to go. [Insert rough seas, creepy men and lots of yelling. Now real-life theater kids were crying again.]
I looked over at Jake and Amelia (no worries about Nick, whose eyes were firmly fixed on the upper-right corner of the theater ceiling) and told them to just look at me, that this would all be taken care of in a minute. They paid me absolutely zero attention. Amelia, eyes still on the screen, said, "I WIKE THIS WRONG MOVIE."
I looked back up at the screen just in time to see little Jack Sparrow sinking to the bottom of the ocean. I guess his dad took him up on his offer and threw him overboard? I'LL NEVER KNOW. Before it could get any worse, they finally cut the feed and got Boss Baby started for us.
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, CARMIKE CINEMAS, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.
So what's the over-under on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead showing up on Amelia's Amazon Wishlist before her 6th birthday in September?
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