May 28, 2014

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 60

1. When I pull bread slices out to make sandwiches, if a slice has a hole in it, I put it back. The possibility of ANY condiment leaking through to my hand while I'm spreading it on the bread strikes fear in my heart like nothing you've ever known.

2. I have two iPhones -- one for work and one for personal use -- and everyone wants me to consolidate. But if we're all in a hostage situation one day and they have everyone throw their phones to the middle of the room -- AS THEY DO -- I'll still have a phone to save us all. WHO'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH THEN, INTERNET?

3. Before I see an animated movie, I have to look up who voices all the characters. Once I had to go out to the lobby in the middle of a movie and Google it because it was driving me bonkers.

4. I'm afraid to wish anyone "Happy Birthday" on Facebook, because then I'm afraid EVERYONE will expect me to wish them "Happy Birthday" on Facebook.

5. Nick pushed Jake into a kitchen cabinet a couple of weeks ago while they were playing "chase" around the house, and Jake got a fairly severe cut on his head. We didn't take him to the ER because his pupils were equal and reactive, and he didn't throw up. Also because the scar is going to be under his bangs.

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