No post title is innocuous enough to blunt the horror

When I was at the annual summer scrapbooking crop last weekend, I noticed one evening while brushing my teeth that my travel toothbrush was looking a little "worn."

 It's a Colgate toothbrush, but I've used it for longer than I thought, I guess. Now it just says "jate."

I don't have a set schedule on which I replace the toothbrush that stays in my travel bag ... Does anyone? As I was brushing, I started thinking about when I'd last replaced it. Ultimately, I couldn't remember, so I decided I probably ought to buy a new one next time I was at Wal-Mart.

Mental note, made.

Then I made the monumental mistake of taking a really close look at the bristles.

MONUMENTAL mistake, Internet.

I hope your breakfast has had time to settle.

And then I died.

So yes, I'm writing this from my grave. My grave where I lie because I died of a heart attack after seeing what looked like decades of green buildup RIGHT THERE UNDER MY NOSE ON MY TRAVEL TOOTHBRUSH.

I won't blame you if you never come here again. How can you possibly read anything written by someone who just brushed her teeth with that on Saturday?

If I were still alive, it might make you feel better to know that there is now a reminder set on my email to change out my travel toothbrush every three months.