May 30, 2013

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 49

1. When I sort a list of search results on Amazon -- I don't care if it's paperclips or cameras -- I sort by price. Lowest to highest, ALWAYS lowest to highest. I assume there are different ways to sort the list because for some people, money is no object. Who are those people and why am I not in their wills?

2. You've heard of phantom leg pain? I get phantom bra pain. This phenomenon occurs most often once I've arrived home, taken off my bra after work and am relaxing about an hour later. All of a sudden, PINCH! What the ... ?

3. I have a big pimple on my cheek. (That's not even the Uncomfortable Truth yet, Internet, which should tell you something about my life.) Amelia's doesn't say much yet, so she can't ask, "What's that on your face?" But she got her point across last night by poking it repeatedly with her index finger and saying "DAT. DAT. DAT!"

4. Sitting at a bar-height table can ruin a meal for me. You might as well sit me at a TV tray and ask me to eat off of it while balancing on a unicycle.

5. When I was little, I constantly thought, "When I grow up, I'm finally going to be able to get the air vents to point at the exact places on my body to keep me uniformly cool in the car at all times." FAIL. BIG FAT FAIL.

New here and like reading embarrassing things about me -- or just need reassurance that you're not the strangest one in the room? More Uncomfortable Truths here.

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