Aug 17, 2012

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 34

  1. I always feel a little relieved when I hear about an accident on the highway at an exit just South of where I’m getting on to go North to work. That means my traffic will be a lot lighter.*
  2. One time a gas station bathroom door didn’t lock when I locked it, but I didn’t know it. So a woman walked in on me while I was in the middle of my business. Which would have embarrassed me hardly at all if I’d been going #1. It was July 2001. I will never forget it.
  3. Blogger puts two spaces after the colon when it Tweets out the fact that I've published a new post. That means I have an extra seizure every day when that extra space comes across my Twitter feed.
  4. I wish emoticons had never been invented. I spend more time typing one, then erasing it, then typing a different one, then opting to go without, than I sometimes spend typing the entire preceding email.
  5. When I went to the restroom after The Bourne Legacy last weekend, my nest failed. If you're new here, that means that the two layers of TP that I laid on the toilet to protect my nether-regions from The Dangers That Awaited Me There absorbed some rogue urine from underneath the seat, sending me into apoplectic shock as I felt the cold, disgusting wetness of someone else's pee hit my butt cheeks. Aaaaaaaand, I just got upset about it all over again.

* It seems like with the new Disqus commenting system, sometimes comments posted using a Blogger ID don't show up on the blog. I get an email telling me about the comment, but then I never see it on the blog. Someone commented that way early this morning on the first Uncomfortable Truth in this list, chiding me for being relieved about a car accident, saying that it could be me or my family in that car one day. 

That's true, and I don't mean to make light of anyone else's tragedy. However, I was referring to a little fender-bender, not a helicopter-evacuation, jaws-of-life type of thing. Furthermore, there's a reason I title these posts "Uncomfortable Truths," not "Happy Thoughts." They are things I'm uncomfortable sharing, usually for good reason.

I just didn't want people to think I'm deleting comments or something ... if that one didn't show up, it's not because I was ashamed to leave it there. And I will continue to share my Uncomfortable Truths with you, even though sometimes it's DISTINCTLY UNCOMFORTABLE for me to do so.  :)


Anonymous said...

How can you be a little reIeved when you hear of an accident? One day it could be you and your family....

JenJenkins said...

If it makes you feel any better, it probably wasn't pee that you felt on your tush. It was more likely the spray from the toilet water from the previous user. Feel better?? Thought so.

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