The other night, Nathaniel was scared to go upstairs and shower alone, because he'd read some books about ghosts that day at school and was petrified. After a few minutes of discussion, during which I wast trying to feed Amelia and do nine other things:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, I don't wanna go upstairs alone."

Me: "Buddy. I'm here with you. I'm in the house. There are no ghosts here, and you are going to be fine. Go. Up. Stairs."

Nathaniel: "No. I'm scared."

Me: "Jake, will you go upstairs with Nathaniel and sit with him while he takes a shower?"

Jake: "Sure."  [heads upstairs with sippy cup in hand]

[I hear the shower water start, and a minute later Jake's back downstairs. Followed by Nathaniel.]

Me: "Wait. Why are you both back down here?"

Jake: "I was bored. I din wanna stay up dare."

Nathaniel: "Jake came back down here. And I'm still scared."

Me: "Well, it's ridiculous that your 4-year-old brother would need to be up there with you anyway. HE'S not scared to go up there alone."

Nathaniel: "Well, HE didn't read the BOOKS!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A complete non-sequitur by Nick the other day on the way to school:

Nicholas: “Mommy, I know a nicer way to say ‘evict.’ “

Me: “How?”

Nicholas: “I’m giving you the opportunity to find a place to live that’s not here.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nicholas: "Mommy. I came up with a great name for the Chick-fil-A cow."

Me: "What name?"

Nicholas: "Phil."

Me: "Well, yeah. Phil's a good name."

Nicholas: "It's a GREAT name. 'Cause it sounds like the middle of Chick-FIL-A!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When we finished the 5K last month month, I was asking the boys about the experience:

Me: "So you guys left me in your dust. Completely. Did you run together the whole time?"

Nathaniel: "Nah. I dropped Nick at mile 2."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When we pulled into the driveway after the 5K, Nathaniel's classmate Juniper (also our neighbor) was waiting for us on the front porch.

Me: "Oh! Hey, Nathaniel, Juniper's here."

Nicholas: "Why's she here?"

Me: "Well, I imagine she wants to play."

Nathaniel: "No, she's here on business."

Me: "What?"

Nathaniel: "You know, that book we're writing."