Apr 27, 2012

Junk mail makes me want to hurt people

I get at least one of these things a week, and I've about reached my breaking point. On the outside of the mailer:

"REQUEST FOR IMMEDIATE ACTION."

"WARNING: $2,000 FINE, 5 YEARS IMPRISONMENT, OR BOTH FOR INTERFERING OR OBSTRUCTING WITH DELIVERY OF THIS LETTER."



"2ND ATTEMPT."



"SENSITIVE MATERIAL ENCLOSED."

"TO BE OPENED BY ADDRESSEE ONLY. PLEASE RESPOND WITHIN FIVE DAYS."



And on the inside:

"EXTREMELY URGENT AND TIME SENSITIVE."

"IMPORTANT NOTICE."



It's clear that this is about my car, the one that we'll pay off later this year. What the heck? Are they trying to repossess it? What's the big emergency?




And then, at the very, very bottom of the notice, right next to the gummy adhesive stuff and in the ONLY non-all-caps type on the entire mailer:

"This is an advertisement to extend your coverage."

I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE.

4 comments:

Rachel said...

We get those too. But they are for a vehicle that we've never owned. LOL...I agree. Someone should get death by paper cuts for sending those out.

Me, the boys and a Farm... said...

You are not alone! We have the same vehicle which will be paid of in 2 months or less! YAY! We get them all the time too...just silly!

Angie said...

Agree, Agree, Agree!!!
I get that junk ALL THE TIME!!!!

Rachel said...

You get what you deserve if you choose to drive a minivan.

That's all I've got to say about that.

(Except for the fact that if I had four kids, I'd probably bend my morals as well.)

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