Sep 2, 2011

Quotes of the week

Last night I was treated to a really fun outing to Cheesecake Factory with some of the most fun girls I know. Which means, essentially, that once I got home I was far too tired to work on The Big Post I'd planned for today (the master bedroom reveal).

So instead, I'm going to share with you two things that earned my OBGYN "Quote of the Week" for the last two visits with him (which occurred only five days apart, so I'm calling it one week).

First of all, last Friday he was checking on my hemmies and he said, "Well, you know what they say about hemorrhoids ... they're a lot like Northerners. It's okay if they come down and stay for a little while, but if they stay too long, they're a real pain in the ass."

And by the way, I LOVE YOU, NORTHERNERS. Nothing personal. Just quoting.

Secondly, when I saw him yesterday morning, he wrote his usual orders on my checkout paperwork, except when he wrote "ROV one week," instead of narrating it as he usually does as he writes, "return office visit, one week," he said, "RETURN ORIFICE VISIT, ONE WEEK."

Which was incredibly appropriate, since I have officially begun the month-long series of visits that results in me feeling completely violated by the time I leave his office.

But by the way, we'll all be pleased to know that I have not progressed at all. I am, in his words, "closed and thick." Just the way I like it, at least at 36 weeks.

Have a great weekend, Internet!


Carrie said...

I have never had to go through those checks! My midwives do not check until you are past 41 weeks! In fact with my first pregnancy I was never checked in the end, I delivered her in the parking lot. For some reason I dreaded those checks more then labor itself, some of my friend's had gone on and on about how painful they were!

Good luck, keep her cooking but hopefully not too long. My second was 5 days late and that was awful. Of course with only 45 min of active labor I should not complain.

Rachel said...

Your doctor sounds like a delightfully wonderful type of person to be handling things.. erm... down there.

And really, how bad can cervical checks be after what you've been going through on the other end?

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