May 6, 2011

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 13

1. I get just as annoyed at people who cut in line now as I did when I was a kid. Last weekend I was standing in line with the boys as they waited to jump in a bouncy house, and when a child cut in line in front of us (WITH HIS DAD WATCHING), I was like, "What the $*&#?" Seriously. I was Angry.

2. Question: How long is lemon juice good? Answer: By 2011, lemon juice dated to expire in 2003 is no good. I can tell you this for certain after last weekend’s find in our refrigerator.

3. I play dirty words in Words with Friends. Words I won't say out loud, but apparently I will type them into a game on my phone with abandon. I blame it on the desperation one feels when one's opponent has just entered a 36-point word. Yes, desperate times call for desperate measures, Internet.

4. At 37.9, we all know I'm classified as "Advanced Maternal Age." Now I'm thinking I might just be "Advanced Age," PERIOD. Last week while lunching with two male co-workers, our topics of conversation included cats, antiques, tombstones and the attributes of the various brands of mattresses that are on the market today. Just kill me now.

5. And while we're on the topic of age, I've never been known for having the memory of an elephant. Hence the reason I have Post-it Notes on every surface I come in contact with every day. But this pregnancy is making it even worse, Internet. My short-term memory is limited to about two seconds flat. It's as if this highway signage was designed for me personally:


Wade's World said...

I'm glad I'm not the only person who gets annoyed when other parents let their kids cut in line while my kiddo waits patiently. It irks me beyond belief!

stollison said...

6. Your fonts are all screwy.

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