Aug 29, 2010

An open letter to some Mr. and Mrs.

Dear Couple Who Arrived Three Minutes After the Movie Started Last Night,

I arrived at my seat -- right in the center of the theatre -- 22 minutes early. That was no mistake; it was by design. I like to sit right in the middle so that I neither have to look up or down, left or right, to see the screen. I was distracted by the way:

1. You stood in the aisle during the previews, casting about aimlessly, whispering loudly about where two seats could be found together.

2. You loudly decided that there were NOT two seats to be found together, but maybe the people on THIS row would move over to make room for you.

3. You scooted all the way down my aisle to ME and asked ME to move over one seat so you could sit together.

4. The scent of your over-applied perfume wafted over me, worrying me to the point of distraction that I was going to end up with a migraine before the end of the movie.

5. You kept your leg crossed toward me all night, gently bumping up against my shin when you laughed.

So, you see, in addition to the fact that Mark Wahlburg kept his shirt on for the ENTIRE movie, you aided in ruining the experience for me with your inconsiderate nature. In the future, I'd appreciate it if you'd get there early.

Get. There. Early.


Shelby Baker said...

I found your blog through baby Jonah's and I don't believe I have ever commented on it. I just want to say that you are SO funny! I'm pretty sure I laugh every time I read one of your posts. This one especially. :) Shelby Baker

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

Shelby, I'm glad you thought it was funny. In retrospect, I guess it is. At the time, I was annoyed BEYOND WORDS!

Sarah T. said...

You should have said, "you can sit in the seats on either side of me, but only if you share your concessions."
You are very adorable, I'm sure they would've gone for it.

Sewconsult said...

Great post. Reminds me of my most recent theater nightmare. First, I have to take earplugs because the sound is always too loud and migraines can happen! I really wanted to see this since the last movie I saw in the theater (all the way through) was Toy Story 2. This time, it was Toy Story 3. I went with my sister and my 18 yr old niece. We arrived early, too, and chose prime seats. The concessions were out of any kind of diet colas. Have you ever had coffee with popcorn? Just not as good!
After the movie had started, 3 women with 3 children under the age of 5 came and sat right behind us. Within 2 minutes, the oldest child started crying and saying that he wanted to go home. Durning the whole movie, there was a parade of the moms taking the kids out and then back in. I was ready to scream. The movie was great, but it is NOT for little kids.
My arthritis is such that when I sit for more than a half hour, it takes me a few steps to get going well. I almost fell because on of the kids who was not being watched tripped me. It took all my Southern tact to keep from giving those women a piece of my mind!

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

Beckie, That definitely would have made for a less-than-ideal movie situation! And I agree ... TS3 was tough for really young kids. Jake was scared through several parts!

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