Dec 30, 2009

Mistakes I'm afraid I'm making

- Putting too much emphasis on having a clean house instead of allowing the chaos

- Not putting enough emphasis on having a clean house, allowing chaos to reign

- Photographing events at the expense of being able to fully participate in them

- Not taking pictures of the really fun things we do (what if my kids end up with as bad a memory as I have and don't remember things we don't have pictures of?)

- Occasionally bribing my kids with treats or small toys to get them to behave well

-Occasionally skipping events or avoiding destinations because I'm afraid my kids won't behave well

- Not being patient enough with my kids, snapping at them quickly when they don't obey

- Being too permissive with my kids when they don't obey the first time, giving them second chances to do the right thing

Are they really mistakes? I don't know. If I don't pick up all the crap that collects on the floors of my house, we could trip and fall, or Jake could choke on something small. And if I don't ask (nag?) my kids to do it, they'll grow up thinking someone else will always do it for them.

But what about the women in a later stage of life than I'm in who always say, "I wish I'd just let the clutter go and enjoyed my kids more when they were little. Now they're married and off on their own, and I'd do anything to go back and do it differently." I'm PRETTY SURE I won't be one of those women who wishes they'd just left the Matchbox cars and Army men all over the floor, but I suppose you never know.

Are you afraid something you're doing today will be regrettable in hindsight?


Sarah T. said...

I love this post. I can't stand it when people say, "I have no regrets because all of my mistakes have made me who I am today." That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And it always makes me think, "what makes you think you're so great today?"

I believe in having regrets, especially when you've hurt other people.

I regret overeating a bunch of crap because I knew I had ordered an elliptical machine for my house, but then it didn't come for three months. And now nothing fits. Regrettable.

Melissa said...

This was a wonderful post. You described so many of my feelings.

RLR said...

Are you reading my mind? Really - the clutter thing is a big deal for me daily! And the picture thing, and the permissiveness thing. And the biggest one for me - the PATIENCE thing!
Praying that we both make the decisions that work best for our families!

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

SET, I feel like I have regrets every single day, whether it's harsh words I spoke, gossipping, not doing my best at work ... it's an ongoing battle against my psyche.

Melissa, I'm glad I put some words to what you're feeling, too ... feel free to give me advice!

Ryan Leigh, I think we are kindred spirits! Thank you so much for getting in touch with me months and months ago to help Matt and Patrice, and for being a devoted reader since! Blessings to your family ...

Megan @ Hold it Up to the Light said...

I have all those same thoughts constantly! I have been really trying to let it go this week....just soaking in all the chaos. I feel like I have multiple personalities sometimes, too! I just read a great book called "Have a New Kid By Friday" by Leman. I've read a few of his books, and my favorite thing about him is that he assures us that we can't mess up a kid's "psyche" his words, "Psyche, What's a Psyche?!"

megan said...

Hey Katherine! I read your blog daily but rarely comment. I am not sure if you have heard of Story People, but if you haven't, you should check them out. I saw this today and thought about your post. Have a great New Year!

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

Megan M, I'm not familiar with that book, but I'll have to check it out!

And Megan 2, that touched my heart. Thank you so much!

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