May 20, 2009

What kind of mom are you?

I took a Mom-to-Mom quiz that supposedly nailed my Official Parenting Style.

I must say, the quiz was better-thought-out than the Facebook quizzes of which I'm so fond, AND ALL THE WORDS WERE SPELLED CORRECTLY, which is a bonus that Facebook doesn't usually offer.

Here are my results:

The "analysis" that came along with it was:

Oh yeah, you remember what it was like to be a kid, thinking no one listened and no one understood what you were going through. You sympathize with your kids and validate their feelings. Throughout the great times and the rocky times, you stick together.
What's funny is, that is exactly the kind of mom I always HOPED I'd be, but all the "experts" say that you're not SUPPOSED to be your child's friend ... you're supposed to be their parent. I honestly don't think that my answers pointed exclusively to friending-not-parenting, but I DO agree that I try to put myself in the boys' shoes as often as I can so that I can answer them or discipline them in a way that they understand and that commands respect, at the same time.

I may be almost-36, but I remember vividly wanting to be understood, to have my feelings validated even if the decision ended up going the other way. I constantly use the "Feel-Felt-Found" approach with our boys ... "I understand how you feel ... I felt that way myself when ... But in the end I found that ..." And even if they don't like my (or our) decision, they can at least leave the conversation knowing that I understand WHY they want to go wherever, and that I don't discount their feelings. It's not perfect, but it works for us.

Take the quiz and report back in the Comments, or post the results on your blog so I can check in! Oh, and it's geared toward moms of teens, but you can do what I did and mentally modify them for elementary schoolers or, I guess, imagine what answers you'd give when you have teens.

1 comment:

Sarah T. said...

I have seen your mothering, and it is TOTALLEH AWESOME.

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